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You'd be surprised at the resources available to inmates of modern prisons. Why, just last year, we even got our very own computer center. I tell you, it was pretty scary at first, learning a new skill, but when you're serving serious time, anything to kill the hours!
I have to admit, some of the features on these applications are pretty slick. Like in those Microsoft Office-based programs, the Undo command? Man, I wish had an Undo button in real life. Like last week, I made the mistake of choosing the monte cristo for lunch. Boy, did I ever pay for that one. Click -- Undo! Ha ha ha! (Just kidding.)
Let's see, what else could I Undo? Oh yeah, that time I got snagged for smoking in the laundry room. I lost my weight room privs for like a month.
Or what about Cut & Paste? My cellmate Ted has a real cute daughter who visits sometimes, and I'd like to Cut & Paste her cunt inside of her own uterus and eat her fucking blood and stool. Bitch.
Grammar Check would be useful for parole hearings, because those guys really pay attention to that kind of stuff. Hey, you know what'd be real sweet? Merge Cells. Ha ha ha.
Date Written: September 23, 2004Comments:
Average Vote: 4.38889
09/24/2004 Will Disney (5): it was a little weak and oniony at the beginning but took off in the second to laugh paragraph
09/24/2004 Mr. Pony (5): That's quite a slip, there Disney!!
09/24/2004 Will Disney: paging dr. freud!
09/24/2004 Joe Frankenstone (4): Cunt inside her whaterus? Very fun short...but I'm starting to think the whole transgressive shock model (whether straightforward, as it is here; or inverted, i.e. open shocking and close with something surprisingly innocent) is just kinda played, so I can't give this five stars.
09/24/2004 The Fonch: The uterus or womb as it is called when full, is the major female reproductive organ of most mammals, including humans. One end called the cervix, opens into the vagina, and the wider end, called the body of uterus, is connected on both sides with the Fallopian tubes. It comes in a variety of shapes and sizes in different organisms. In humans it is pear-shaped. A uterus is not an MS Office application.
09/24/2004 Litcube (4): I agree with Joe on every point that he just made except the following: Cunt inside her whaterus? Very fun short...but I'm starting to think the whole transgressive shock model (whether straightforward, as it is here; or inverted, i.e. open shocking and close with something surprisingly innocent) is just kinda played, so I can't give this five stars.
09/24/2004 Joe Frankenstone: Yes yes yes -- but how do you get a cunt inside there? Does this have something to do with that paperclip guy?
09/24/2004 Le Pinson: Eet ees wis gret plezhyere sat Ah reeid yahr explehnehshawn, Le Fawnch. Yahr stahry geevs me eh verrah beeg et verrah haard errecshawn, despahht yahr remuuved ton.
09/24/2004 TheBuyer (5): well, this has been a strange friday. yup.
09/24/2004 Le Pinson: 'Allo, SeBahyuhr!
09/24/2004 TheBuyer: Allo-bonjour Le Pinson! Comment ca va? Ca va bien!? Tres bon! Zut, Tabernac et MERDE!! Ou es son chapeau de jaunte? Il est dans la Rue Frontenac ou sur les rues Paris avec le rats?
09/24/2004 Cuntbreath (4):
09/24/2004 Le Pinson: Ah cannut undearstan yuh, SeBahyuhr. Ahm afrahd, mah only languazh ees Anglais.
Mes excuses plus humbles,
09/24/2004 TheBuyer: D'accord. Je ne parle pas mais en petit peux en francais. C'est vraiment 'homo' dans le Norde.
09/24/2004 Mr. Pony: Hey, Cuntbreath! Welcome to Acme!
09/24/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): Wholey Sheeite
09/24/2004 John Slocum (4): It's easy to see why the protagonist is in jail, although other than the laugh graph, he seems like a regular guy.
01/19/2012 scoop (4.5): He never uses the undo button to undo whatever it was that got him in prison in the first place!