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I glanced at my watch and cringed: the monoethanolamine nitrate would barely be finished in time. I silently urged the roaster on. Sighing, I popped open a bottle of tetrazene, swigged a little, and dashed a few jiggers into my saucepan: it would form the base for the roux. As it thickened, I julienned some dipicrylamine, arranging it decoratively around the edges of the dinnerware, after which I cubed 400g of guncotton for the dumplings - my Aunt's recipe, famous throughout a three county area. A pinch of cyanuric triazide into the roux (it provides color, don't you know), and a tiny morsel of hexanitrostilbene to soften the flavor. The mirepoix of trinitroresorcinate was coming along splendidly, and I folded in a beautifully marbled cut of cyclotol that I had been saving just for the occasion. Time was running out, so I quickly garnished the roast with a bit of freshly sifted fulminate. The doorbell rang just as I finished pouring a few glasses of erythritol, and I hastily tidied up my hair as my husband took the guests' coats. Entertaining is so stressful, but once the evening gets going, I find I always have a blast.

Date Written: September 26, 2004
Author: Streifenbeuteldachs
Average Vote:

Comments:
09/26/2004 Will Disney (4): good vocab! reminds me of the book 'perfume'.
09/26/2004 qualcomm (3):
09/26/2004 Litcube (3): Hey!
09/26/2004 scoop (5): I think I hate the last line but Imnot sure. It feels like a n homage to this shit bag topic which I can appreciate, being a man of some breeding.
09/26/2004 Mr. Pony (2): I'm sorry this vote goes here. Who's idea was this ridiculous curve? As if everything in the universe could be lined up single-file in order of how good it is!
09/26/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs (5): That doesn't sound good.
09/26/2004 Mr. Pony: Streifenbeuteldachs? I could have sworn this was somebody else.
09/26/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs: Slocum?
09/26/2004 Mr. Pony: That's what I would have guessed, yes. Because of the attention to esoteric minutiae.
09/26/2004 scoop: Personally, myself, that is being me thought it was Bandicoot de Bougainville. Or Tejón Marsupial Rayado. Or Westaustralischer.
09/26/2004 Mr. Pony: . . . Are you saying . . . ?
09/26/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs: <gasp>
09/26/2004 scoop: Yes, that's right...I had crabs in high school.