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Citizen ZDK-2756 reached in to the glove compartment of his Saudi powered flying car and handed his North American Federation government issued ID to the Sony manufactured cop. “What’s the problem officer,” Citizen ZDK-2756 pleaded with the Tokyo designed Automated Law Enforcement Simuration.
“Do you know how fast you were going,” the Automated Law Enforcement Simuration mechanically stacattoed back.
Citizen ZDK-2756 stepped on to the telepad of his 300-story high rise and punched in his living zones security code. His fertility inception date.
“Hey honey, what’s for dinner,” he asked.
“Oh, I don’t know,” replied Citizen ZDK-2576’s wife, Jennifer. “I picked up some low-carb nutriplex compressed meal pills at the market. That slut form floor 118, quadrant A, you know the one with the fake tits? Well she pulled a fast one and snuck 12 items in the express lane…”
“That’s great hon,” he sighed, ignoring her, and flipping on the virtual reality entertainment/information delivery module.
He sat down to his transparent aluminum table, stuffed a hemp napkin in his relaxed fit eating uniform and looked at the dazzling array of multi-colored nutriplex pills.
“Intellectually stimulating colors!”
“Yeah, and emotionally satisfying! They’re new and improved! Aren’t they great?”
Citizen ZDK-2756 selected one that he was pre-determined to choose and let the pill dissolve in to his mouth. “Tastes like chicken,” he said. In the background, a personally tailored holo-caster chattered about tonight’s baseball news. An 18 year-old Cuban national with a 97mph fastball and 89mph slider had asked for refuge. Life remained highly unmarketable in cuba. Castro’s brain was still interring people with AIDS, even the brains of those AIDS victims whose lives were extended with ubiquitous life-extension jar-and-tube technology. Citizen ZDK-2765 wondered whether the Red Sox could get the kid’s rights and more importantly whether this would be enough to finally shirk the curse of the Bambino….
Date Written: September 30, 2004Comments:
Average Vote: 4.3333
10/5/2004 Chance the Gardener (5): LOL this is a really funny short! My cousin lives in Boston! Nice site!
10/5/2004 TheBuyer: Two things besides my overall feeling that this could have used a few days in queue to cook: "That slut form floor 118, quadrant A, you know the one with the fake tits" and Castro gives people aids. I'll rate it later, too early here.
10/5/2004 anonymous: Castro's brain doesn't give them AIDS, it still impriosons them in camps.
10/5/2004 TheBuyer (4): Hey, that's funny, good thing I waited!
10/5/2004 Will Disney: wait - wait - but aren't the red sox going to win it all this year?
10/5/2004 anonymous: Oh, Will.
10/5/2004 Mr. Pony (5): scoop, the multitude of tiny typos and errors catch on my luxurious angora scarf like miniscule #30 tru-turn cam-action fish hooks dangling from the ceiling of the stark base-lit air-conditioned hallway that is this otherwise turbo short. Show some loving care for your readers.
10/5/2004 Dylan Danko (4): turns out transparent aluminum isn't that transparent.
10/5/2004 qualcomm (4): this manages, through good execution, to overcome the essential oldness of the joke, but certainly not enough for a five. i mean, by the standards of someone who knows what he's talking about, at least.
10/5/2004 Mr. Pony: Ironically, my vote was a typo. F me.
10/5/2004 qualcomm: not that that makes my self-righteous, end-all-be-all vote assessment any less reprehensible, right, pony? right?
10/5/2004 Mr. Pony: I pay more attention to the time you posted than to your comments about my voting.
10/5/2004 qualcomm: i pay attention to craft
10/5/2004 Mr. Pony: Did you have a good lunch?
10/5/2004 John Slocum (4): Yah, Craft does a good job with lunch (hahahahahahaha!)!
10/5/2004 Litcube (4): "Simuration". In the future, the Japanese still use Japanese-born traslators for their marketing.
10/5/2004 Mr. Pony: ha ha
10/5/2004 Mr. Pony: ha ha ha
10/5/2004 Jon Matza (4): I admired this short's craft, but felt its pile density was somewhat low (i.e., heavy toil required for only a few 8-wale jokes (Jennifer, tastes like chicken & castro's brain). Still, &tc.
10/5/2004 Jon Matza: apologies to the community for missing the second close paren
10/5/2004 Ol‘ Summer Sausage: Oh lord Jesus I am awesom
10/5/2004 Ol‘ Summer Sausage: You think your cool but your not--its clear that IAM COOL
10/5/2004 Ol‘ Summer Sausage: I am wicked awesom
10/5/2004 Ol‘ Summer Sausage: U C how i made the messidge look like it comes form Disney? I am the devil!!!! LOL hahahah
10/5/2004 Litcube: I'm going to fight you.
10/5/2004 Ol‘ Summer Sausage: With what, fattey!
10/5/2004 Ol‘ Summer Sausage: LOL HA HA HA !
10/5/2004 qualcomm: man, what's going on with the site?
10/5/2004 Ol‘ Summer Sausage: I may be going out on a limb here, but think someone else did it, while signed in as me!
10/5/2004 Ol‘ Summer Sausage: think about it!
10/10/2004 The Rid (5): Brilliant! The fact that Citizen ZDK-2576’s wife is called Jennifer is a stroke of true inspiration. It may be the future, but it's still mundane. Bonus points for the Star Trek IV reference.