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God and his his dumb kid were hanging out in the control room drinking beer. God was staring at the full ashtray, horrified, he wasn't even supposed to be smoking in there. He wasn't paying attention or he might have been able to stop the stupid little bastard.

"Hey, watch this," God's dumb kid said, fiddling with his zipper.

God's dumb kid hit the kill switch on Friction and all heck broke loose. The oceans of the Earth slid into the cities and the mountains and things went slipping about and flying around and all the knots on all the shoes came loose and all the cars went skating on all the roads and no one didn't end up on the floor or ground.

"Huh," said God's dumb kid.
God looked up and got an eyeful of the bullshit he'd have to have fixed. Not the earth, that was a complete writeoff, he was zoomed out on the big picture; everything was trashed. Trashed.

"Son," he said, putting his beer down, "Do you have any idea how long it took- your mother spends friggin years to make that and you just- she is going to kill us both. You've got to- I mean damnit son, you can't just- fuck! I simply don't know what the hell is wrong with you sometimes. Look at the Milky Way...Of all the idiotic- God, you're so damn dumb. It scares me sometimes, it really does. I am going to knock that smirk- Just get out of here, let me deal with this."
God drank the rest of the beer by himself and wished he had some magic powers or a time machine or something. He was so screwed it wasn't even funny.

Date Written: October 26, 2004
Author: TheBuyer
Average Vote: 3.8333

11/2/2004 senator (5): I don't care who you are...That shit is funny.
11/2/2004 Mr. Pony (4): I'm sure there are some people that this would be not funny for, senator, and disregarding those people's feelings is both mean and irresponsible. This is pretty funny, though.
11/2/2004 The Rid (3): This doesn't offend my delicate sensibilities at all, but I still don't find it very funny. Points for God being afraid of his wife.
11/2/2004 anonymous: I thought the complete lack of friction in the universe might far more catastrophic then I'd portrayd in this short. In fact, I think that without friction all matter would lose all electrical charge and the space between particles would vanish and every bit of matter would become a black hole and the universe would collapse in on itself. So I asked a seventh grade science teacher in an email on one of those "Ask A Scientist" websites just now [come to think of it without bookmarking it] to see if someone knows what would happen.
11/2/2004 Pix (5):
11/3/2004 Litcube (5):
12/24/2004 Shane Mahoney (1): I fail to see how this piece addresses the pressing issue of how we are moving forward in our application of the North American ideal of preservation and the stewardship of our vital natural rezources.
12/24/2004 TheBuyer: stay off the internet when you're high, idiot.
03/9/2005 Klause Muppet: I wished God has magic powers too.