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Daddy, where do people go when they go away forever?
Why honey, they go to heaven!
What's heaven like, Daddy?
Oh honey, it's glorious! It's a place full of constant wonder!
I think I want to go to heaven, Daddy.
But Babykins, Daddy works so hard to make you happy. Aren't you happy?
Uncle Wally put his pee pee in my mouth.
Did he wash his pee pee first?
No, Daddy. And then he put his pee pee in my mi mi.
Did he lick your mi mi first?
Yes, Daddy. And then he made white wee wee on my face.
Overall, what was your general impression of the experience?
What, Daddy?
On a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being horrible and 5 being marvelous, how would you rate it?
What, Daddy?
If the rape were to take place today would you be more or less likely to enjoy it?
What, Daddy?
Nothing, baby, nothing.

Date Written: October 27, 2004
Author: Dylan Danko
Average Vote: 4.53846

11/4/2004 The Rid (5): At 2:09 AM, this is really fuckin' funny.
11/4/2004 Yahzick (5): Close to home and no one said "meh". The format almost looked like a poem. I almost didn't read it. I got over that.
11/4/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): stubborn bitch!
11/4/2004 The Rid: Streifenbeuteldachs, I can only hope that you're more generous with my next short than you are with this classic piece of Americana.
11/4/2004 qualcomm (5): scoopish
11/4/2004 Mr. Pony (5): "marvelous"
11/4/2004 John Slocum (5): gorpish.
11/4/2004 Dick Vomit (5): Mi Mi.
11/4/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs: What does everyone see in this one that's worth five?
11/4/2004 TheBuyer (3): I'm with you S.
11/4/2004 qualcomm: it's hard to explain. but what the hell did you see in today's author short? the jokes sucked.
11/4/2004 anonymous: Hey, Streifen, why don't you swallow my white wee wee.
11/4/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs: i would have given it (the author short) a four, but i think i really enjoyed the Wonder Years tone of the last para. having been in that situation before i could identify.
11/4/2004 anonymous: Ooookaaaay, buuuut whaaaat diiidn't youuu liiike abouuut thaat newww aaanimaaated shooort byy thaaat niiiice Misterrrr Poooony fellowww?
11/4/2004 Litcube (5): That Uncle Wally's not a nice man.
11/4/2004 senator (5): That is one classy short. I love the way the author goes to the "1 being horrible and 5 being marvelous" technique.
11/4/2004 TREE (4): I like that Dad is concerned about her enjoyment
11/4/2004 Jon Matza (5): here you go, anon a, you Eastern European cologne aficionado. Effective, especially the ending. 5, I guess, though it seems too easy.
11/4/2004 anonymous: Whaaaaat?
11/4/2004 Jon Matza: You heard me, you Clamato & vodka cocktail swilling arts and crafts instructor!
11/4/2004 scoop (4): Sweet scale, sweet scale.
11/5/2004 Mr. Pony: Clamato Bloody Mary's are meant to be sipped, friend. Other than that, I don't know what you're talking about. Leave that anonymous gentleman alone! Hasn't the poor man been harrassed enough?
07/24/2008 scoop: In other words, DID SHE BLEED!?