home authors guest shorts graphical shorts

AcmeShorts

Henry, mildly retarded, found a dead hooker in the mail-room when he went to get the "Faxed" stamp; she had on no clothes.
'Of all the disgusting cunts I've had the displeasure to jam my cock into, you're the ugliest, you fat smelly bitch. Where do you get off?' Henry said to the dead hooker.

He wrapped a ten dollar bill around his fist, spat on it and punched her up the asshole up to the elbow. Her mouth opened and she dropped six quarters.

He wanted some chips now, maybe a soda, he would have to pick.

Date Written: October 29, 2004
Author: TheBuyer
Average Vote: 3.7143

Comments:
11/5/2004 Turgid: I would've preferred she drop Euros out of her mouth, thus getting the better of him in an exchange rate sense.
11/5/2004 qualcomm (4):
11/5/2004 TREE (5): Excellent depth to this story. I had to LOL when he paid her...very nice
11/5/2004 The Rid (2): I know that someone will disagree, but mildly retarded and openly hostile don't match up for me here.
11/5/2004 anonymous: finally someone gets that, thanks The Rid. It was intentional. It was supposed to contrast like crazy with "she had on no clothes", and the last line, I'm glad it wasn't wasted. For the two, I probably had it coming but hopefully since there are so many guest shorts, next time something comes up that looks suspect or out of place, we can open a dialogue first to see if there should be benifit of the doubt, or if it was just plain sloppy. I don't think it would have changed your mind in this case, obviously it didn't work for you, but maybe, someday, our peoples can work together in a unifacted, coalition of the talking.
11/6/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs (3):
11/6/2004 Mr. Pony: Were the quarters change, or some a clue to some deeper mystery?
11/6/2004 TheBuyer: He didn't kill her, he just found her so the money must have alreday been in her mouth. What we have here is a possible serial killer who leave coins in his victems' mouths.
11/6/2004 Mr. Pony (4): That's what I figured. It's pretty hard to find a hooker, living or otherwise, who will charge only $8.50 for an Oven Mitt.
11/6/2004 Litcube (4):
11/8/2004 Will Disney (4): God that's a good, sad point, Pony.
11/8/2004 TREE: Did anyone think someone before our mildly retarded friend used the hooker for something worth $1.50?