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Iím building a small wooden box in which I intend to spend the rest of my life. You see, I'm very eccentric. Iím a contortionist and can easily fold my "self" up into a three by three by three foot cube, but I figure if Iím going to live in this box for the rest of my life, I might as well have some elbow room, so itís going to be four feet cubed. Donít get me wrong, itís not like Iím never going to leave the box, obviously. I mean, I have to eat and poop and go to work. Itíll be like my house. It will be my house, actually. Which reminds me I have to find out about weather stripping. I wonder how late the hardware store is open. Say, what a regular-guy thought. I guess Iím not so eccentric after all!

Date Written: November 04, 2004
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 3.75

11/10/2004 scoop's brain: Say, F you.
11/10/2004 qualcomm (4): what's it cost to heat that dump
11/10/2004 Mr. Pony (5):
11/10/2004 The Rid (4):
11/10/2004 Jon Matza (3): Nice and short, bit of a trifle.
11/10/2004 TREE (2): 3X3??? WOW what a contortionist he can fit inside a sqaure yard of space....about the size of my office cubicle. 3* for direction but -1 for details
11/10/2004 TheBuyer: you're a tough guy to impress, tree.
11/10/2004 Ewan Snow (4): TREE is the stupidest guy to frequent this site in a while. Good work, TREE!
11/10/2004 The Rid: Tree, do you rate ANYTHING above 2 stars? What the fuck?
11/10/2004 TREE: Thanks Snow...I wish the quality of work was as good as the early shorts on the site
11/10/2004 Ewan Snow: You wouldn't know quality if it raped you.
11/10/2004 qualcomm: what about me? would i know quality if it raped me?
11/10/2004 Ewan Snow: yes, you would.
11/10/2004 Quality: C'mere, you!
11/10/2004 TREE: Rid...see grande unified theory or henry was delighted or maybe jurgen ccoed daphne ...even happy birthday penny pulaski....maybe I just didn't get this
11/10/2004 TREE: Actually just noticed I have been ranking a lot of qualcomm's shorts at 4 or 5 stars maybe I just read more of his
11/10/2004 The Rid: Grand Unified Theory was fantastic, but Henry was delighted? C'mon. I'm not going to get into some sort of holy war with you, but I will say that, by and large, you're stingy. Pun intended.
11/10/2004 TREE: 5 Stars 1. Penny Pulaski - added 3/14/2004 8:33:06 PM by qualcomm 2. As his friends reached out one by one towards family and domesticity... - added 5/15/2003 11:57:34 AM by Jon Matza 3. Cry Havoc, and Let Slip the Wages of Intimacy - added 10/21/2004 12:58:43 PM by qualcomm 4. Grand Unified Theory - added 11/1/2004 2:58:57 PM by qualcomm 4 Stars 1. Daddy, where do people go when they go away forever. - added 10/27/2004 10:51:10 AM by Dylan Danko 2. The Cherrybirdís body coiled up tight as he tracked the softballís homeward arc. - added 8/8/2003 6:46:38 AM by qualcomm 3 Stars 1. Itís tough being in prison. - added 10/26/2004 10:20:29 AM by Will H. Disney 2. ďMommy! Daddy! Thereís a monster under my bed!" - added 10/31/2004 1:49:54 PM by scoop 1 Star 1. My pineal gland was hurting me. - added 10/29/2004 7:31:20 PM by Benny Maniacs appears I have ranked 2 shorts at 2 or less and most rank at 5*...is that stingy?
11/10/2004 The Rid: I can't even read that. Didn't I say I wasn't going to get into a holy war over this? *End of line*
11/10/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: Hey, qualcomm, did you happen to notice that this ever-so-slightly a rip-off of the stand-up comic in Ghost World. You know the one Enid and Becky are watching on TV at the beginning?
11/10/2004 qualcomm: no, what does that dude say?
11/10/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: He says he lives in a filing cabinet and he also somehow asserts the fact that he's weird over and over again. Then Enid and Becky rank on him because he's wearing Nikes.
11/10/2004 anonymous: Wow, that is strangely similar. I don't remember that.
11/10/2004 TheBuyer (4):
11/10/2004 John Slocum: I'll bet my johnson this is snow. it has the same trajectory as a snow short, I forget what it's calle, but its the one where two people disagree about politics, then agree about a movie, then find they actually disagree about the movie.
11/10/2004 John Slocum (3): This one's not so interesting, a little interesting, a little funny, not so much.
11/10/2004 TheBuyer: you taking action on that johnson there, fella?
11/10/2004 Dylan Danko: Hi Jimson!
11/11/2004 John Slocum: I was right, I was right, I was right, I was right.
11/11/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum: Slocum, does that mean that someone else owes you his johnson? Also, Hi, Dylan!
11/11/2004 Jon Matza: HI
11/11/2004 John Slocum: no one took my bet
11/11/2004 Jon Matza: HI
11/11/2004 Jon Matza: HI!
11/11/2004 Jon Matza: HI?
11/11/2004 scoop: HULLO!
11/11/2004 Jon Matza: OH! HI HI!
11/11/2004 Litcube: Hi.
11/12/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (5):