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Three non-tenured individuals sat side by side in Room C.

The first, Ned, turned to the one on his left, Cot.

"Honton Torton will when friend turn?"

"Depends on factors."

There seemed little point in continuing discourse along these lines. Supervisor Johns was already transferring Torton from Room A to Room D with frosty efficiency and minimal fanfare. Watching through the transom on tiptoe, the trio of non-PhD'd entities nodded gravely. Only time'd tell if it'd been a good move; the only discernible effect in the short run was the enthusiastic slaughter/dismemberment of the eight disadvantaged ethnic schoolchildren being held for questioning in Room H.

A year seemed to fly by without anything else of consequence occurring. The triad (no member of which had successfully defended his dissertation) was still sitting side by side. They were now in Room E. The third of them, Francis Frond, sighed deeply. Ned and Cot were good guys, he had to admit. For one thing, they did a lot of things. Moreover, their linguistics were sound. But you could fill an almanac with what they didn't understand about aromatics. Truth was they smelt of snail, dogshit, brine and hard boiled egg.

"Orton sorton Tor ton?" someone pointed out.

"Sure..." the same one replied. "...just be sure you durtun before you sediujkiul!"

They had a good laugh over this, but it wasn't as if durtun dur cock tur, fuck, fuck, cunts.

Date Written: November 04, 2004
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 4.33333

11/11/2004 Will Disney (5): Now, wait, which room was that last bit in?
11/11/2004 The Rid (4): I'm not sure why I like this. Maybe the mention of enthusiastic slaughter/dismemberment? Ha!
11/11/2004 anonymous: That's right, you Play-Doh eating speech therapists
11/11/2004 Benny Maniacs (3): This is equally stupid and uplifting.
11/11/2004 scoop: This thing is pretty fucking weird. I'm not entirely sure I understand the tenured stuff. But regardless, really wierd.
11/12/2004 TheBuyer (5): durton dur
11/12/2004 Mr. Pony: Earlier today I thought the whole short might be a giant palindrome. What the devil's going on here?
11/12/2004 John Slocum: lots of Red Herrings here, but wierd in a good way. Matza and his damn red herrings.
11/12/2004 Jon Matza: Rad herrings, more like.
11/12/2004 Litcube: I think there's more than meets the eye to this one. Mr. Matza, are you making a statement with this short?
11/13/2004 Jon Matza: No, sorry. It's just a bunch of bullshit that was supposed to sound impressive and/or meaningful, some nonsense words, a joke or two, a few idiotic moments (e.g., "For one thing, they did a lot of things") and a Tourette's Syndrome ending.
11/14/2004 John Slocum (4): Here's to your red herrings.
05/11/2006 Litcube (5):