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When I was 15, jerking off in the shower was something I would do every day, even twice a day depending on how many showers I took. I noticed that each time I would take a shower, it would take longer and longer for the water to go down. I know why, it was because my cum was getting sucked down the drain and it was getting clogged. I knew sooner or later I was going to have to pay the piper because my dad was going to clean it and discover all the cum in there and know what I had done. I was the only male in the house who used this particular shower so they would know it was me also. Well one day I get home from school and I see my dad is doing something to the drain and i was just hoping that he wouldn't be able to identify my cum but he came and said "Greg, there is white chunky shit all in the drain." And he showed it to me and said "this is why the bathtub drains so slow!" I told him that I blow my nose in the shower and that I also spit in there all the time but I am not sure if he bought it. Now I make sure I have the drain closed when I take shower, and I always fish my semen out after I jerked and throw it in the toilet. Sometimes I go in the bathroom and jerk and just spit it on the floor and every once and a while I forget to clean it up with toilet paper and my mom will go in there in the middle of the night and step on it and I hear her yell "GREGORY, GET YOUR ASS UP HERE RIGHT NOW AND CLEAN THIS UP' And I have to get up out of bed and go clean my cum. when she wakes me up for doing this I am usually in the middle of a dream where I was banging a hot ho so I have a big boner so I throw some shorts on and try and hide my big boner while i walk out and clean my cum up while my mom sits on the toilet half asleep and takes a piss!

Date Written: December 05, 2004
Author: Streifenbeuteldachs
Average Vote: 3.5

12/15/2004 Dylan Danko (3): I like a few of the cummy details.
12/15/2004 The Rid: Interesting -- you all know how I like stories about cum -- but the writing here is so sloppy that I want to 1-star this thing.
12/15/2004 hagit mizrachy (3): Author, you have convinced me. I believe you are 17 and this is an earnest piece. You are now old enough for fun. Try this, next time Mom sits and pees in front of you, take out your swollen stollen and say,"Mom...it hurts." Just try it.
12/15/2004 Will Disney: Ah the good old days !
12/15/2004 scoop (5): What's so sloppy about this, The Rid, you dumb ass?
12/15/2004 Redacto: Redacto!
12/15/2004 qualcomm (4): it is quite sloppy, but i liked it ok.
12/15/2004 TheBuyer (4): ohfuck more from the penis monologues, this format has got to fucking stop. this line "Greg, there is white chunky shit all in the drain" cost you the bonus mark - your parents fuck[ed].
12/15/2004 The Rid: Scoop, I get the feeling you're really unhappy with me today.
12/15/2004 anonymous: TheBuyer, I am not sure I understand your comment.
12/15/2004 TheBuyer: if the narrator's father doesn't know what that stuff in the drain is, it's because his parents are lesbians and he should re-examine his childhood further - old people still fuck, still come, and dad used to, probably still does, jerk it in the shower same as you and me. if he had said, "you're clogging the drain with a bunch of cum" or something, it wouldn't have bugged me. in regards to this format, it is a monologue, and I'm campaigning for fewer monologues today. also, this got a laugh out of me.
12/15/2004 The Rid: So am I the only person who didn't like this?
12/15/2004 anonymous: You don't find the entire premise of semen (which is like 98% water) clogging a drain to be a wee bit 'out there'?
12/15/2004 TheBuyer: That's funny, I thought you wrote it.
12/15/2004 The Rid: Wait...Author, do you find your own short a little too far-fetched?
12/15/2004 anonymous: I think semen is physically incapable of clogging a shower drain. Just saying, is all.
12/15/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs (4): Gregory, did you have a big boner?
12/15/2004 The Rid (2): Well, Author, you sealed it. One star for a short I didn't like, plus one star for being honest regarding your feelings about semen.
12/15/2004 TheBuyer: author, good point. Suspension of disbelief got the better of me.

12/15/2004 Dick Vomit (3): I'm flip-flopping!
12/15/2004 TheBuyer: Rid, you're a pretty pissed-off little guy these days, huh.
12/15/2004 The Rid: Hey, at least I gave him an extra star for admitting his concept was bullshit. I didn't have to do that. Look, I just don't like shorts that have no line breaks and bad spelling and puncuation and all that stuff, even if they are meant to be written by a 15 year-old. Perhaps I should lighten up, but I'm also having a bad day in general, and therefore this short, which I may have three-starred, got two-starred. Yeesh, I suck.
12/15/2004 The Rid: PS, I'm also pissed off that the short I wrote for yesterday turns out to be completely unoriginal, and that I seem to be in a rut of late. But I didn't vote this low for that. Just what I posted before.
12/15/2004 TheBuyer: just sayin.
12/15/2004 The Rid: Buyer, you slay me.
12/15/2004 qualcomm: for one thing, to borrow a brad evansism, this short has humanity, dammit.
12/15/2004 Jon Matza: So do Rosie O'Donnell, Oprah and Richard Simmons.
12/15/2004 Jon Matza: Not to mention etc.
12/15/2004 Litcube (4): Sloppy, but funny/interesting.