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Hello, hello, it’s so nice of you to come. There’s plenty of torture in the antechamber, so go ahead and help yourselves. Let me take your coat. I’ll need to – there we go snip snip – cut off a swatch from the collar to haunt you by. Oh, I know it’s silly but it really seems to help. I like to have it with me when I’m getting drunk alone at night. I like to get all fired up and mean, then show up in your nightmares and ruin your week. I like to feed you poison in your dreams. You feel it pumping slowly toward your heart. Your pulse terrifies you. It will kill you at any moment. Meanwhile, I’ve placed the antidote at the end of an expanding hall. And you chase it with me at your back with a scalpel I’ll use to remove your heart and replace it with a parasite.

I’m sorry. Was that too weird? I’m always bad at hellos.

Date Written: September 11, 1999
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 3.8

09/11/1999 anonymous (1):
04/10/2003 Will Disney (5): dude 9/11
04/7/2004 qualcomm (5):
04/7/2004 scoop (4):
03/30/2005 John Slocum (4): Yah!