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My dog Henry had died, and I really loved this dog. Anyway, one of the reasons that I thought it might have died was that maybe it had swallowed something it shouldn't have. Specifically, I couldn't locate my wedding band.
Henry was a beagle. I couldn't bring myself to cut him open so I decided to go in through the mouth. I had to force his mouth open – rigor mortis had set it and his jaw was pretty much locked shut. God it broke my heart as I heard those bones cracking, but I got his mouth open.
I was planning on using some gloves because I thought it'd be kinda gross in there but I was worried I wouldn't be able to feel enough with the sloves, so I started sticking my hand down Henry's throat. One thing that was a little surprising was how flexible Henry's esophagus and trachea turned out to be. Anyway, no rings around there.
I knew that my wedding band wouldn't be in the lung or the heart, so I kinda pushed those out of the way and worked my hand into what I figured was Henry's stomach. I was about up to my elbow now, and Henry's poor, distended little mouth was kinda nipping at me. But I knew he didn't mean it. I didn't have much luck in Henry's stomach either. But you know what I found in there that was pretty sad? Some crumbled up pieces of the last bone I had given Henry, the morning of the day he died. But again I found no ring in there.
My last hope was the colon, intestinal track, and rectum. An intestinal blockage by my ring certainly could have killed poor Henry. Anyway, I was kinda grossed out by the idea of putting my hand up Henry's butt so I decided to just continue and worked my hand past the spleen down to the end of the digestive track. It was pretty gross in there! At one point I thought I had found the ring but instead it was just some hardened excrement blocking Henry's large intestine. So that's what had killed him! But no ring.
One last push and my fingers came out the other end. I could feel the air on them and brought my arm around and saw my fingers poking out. It was kinda hard because Henry was almost up to my shoulder by then and I couldn't bend my arm real good. Anyway, no ring.
So anyway that's the story of how I stuck my arm through my dead dog Henry.
Date Written: December 20, 2004
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 3.625