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Young, innocent blond pussy and rock-hard, long black cock: just look at that! I wonder what this film is called? Never mind that, what a brilliant allegory of the progress America has made in striving for racial equality. Great choice of actors, too. I don’t know their names but she’s as pale as fresh fallen snow with light flaxen hair and that is the blackest black man I’ve ever seen! That’s what I’m talking about – very black, very white; sharp color distinction indicating segregation that is undermined by obvious sexual connection as evidenced by director’s showing close-ups of the large, swarthy cock disappearing into that rosy, pink vagina. In those bursting cock veins I see the neck veins of countless lynched African slaves swaying dead in the malevolent breeze of fear. In that slick vaginal juice oozing from between those svelte white legs I see the salve of Black leaders’ courage and personal bravery as it inspires their brothers and sisters to rise up against their oppressors! To fight against racial injustice! To demand equality! In the cries of pleasure I hear the cries of pain as black protesters are hosed down in the streets of Birmingham or dragged mercilessly behind pickups in rural Texas by black-hearted rednecks. It takes mere minutes of hard-driving black cock action to reveal this artfully wrought recapitulation, right through to the joyous climax accompanying the successful passage of equal-rights legislation. I wonder why the director had the black man shoot his sperm in the eyes of the white woman? Wait – I just figured it out: the director is using the cum-facial symbolically to show that race relations are still imperfect! He’s saying despite the progress we’ve made we still have a ways to go before we have true racial equality. Ohmigod! This movie is soooooooo stimulating and exciting!
Date Written: December 28, 2004Comments:
Author: John Slocum
Average Vote: 3.8125
01/4/2005 anonymous (5):
01/4/2005 qualcomm (2): obvious
01/4/2005 The Rid: Mluh.
01/4/2005 Ewan Snow (4): QC, two stars is a pretty harsh toke. Maybe because I saw your two and the first few lines seemed lame, and so wasn't expecting much, I ended up being pleasantly surprised by this one. Even though it is sort of obvious -- hot interracial cock action as civil rights allegory -- I haven't seen it done before. So, I'm split on this one between a three and a four. I think I'll give it a four in hopes of being accused of intellectual dishonesty.
01/4/2005 Will Disney: What else happened in the movie?
01/4/2005 qualcomm: this thing is just so flat. the idea is obvious. the exceution is competent and boring. it didn't make me laugh. i was split between a three and a two. i erred on the side of safety. that's what i'm all about. four stars is in error. if you compare this to the bulk of other shorts you've awarded a four (mr. pony's opinion that every short is a distinct object that can't be compared to anything else notwithstanding), you'll see that. i don't think you're being intellectually dishonest; i think you're a victim of the steady erosion of standards here on acme, a victim on behalf of whom i shall be filing a class action lawsuit in the court of public opinion.
01/4/2005 qualcomm: in fact, on repeated reading, the execution really isn't all that competent.
01/4/2005 Litcube (4): The idea was good, and the writing was some of the best I've seen in weeks. I think "obvious" is a cheap shot. Doesn't this deserve more than "Mluh"? 4.44.
01/4/2005 qualcomm: cheap shot. what does that mean, exactly?
01/4/2005 Litcube: At the time I wrote that, your only comment was "obvious" next to a two star. I thought that was cheap for a short of this caliber.
01/4/2005 Ewan Snow: Yeah, but a two is an error as well, I think. And as we know, though you seem to hate the idea, standards have not eroded, they have only increased. The trend has been toward grade defaltion, not inflation, since the early days. This short, while nothing earth shattering, is at least a three, I think. It may be obvious, but I found the premise half-way amusing, and like I said, I haven't seen it before. Have you? And while a four may have been Santa-like, a two was Grinch-like.
01/4/2005 qualcomm: actually, graphs have shown that there has been neither grade inflation nor deflation. it has stayed about level. this does not mean there hasn't been an erosion of standards, THOUGH.
01/4/2005 The Rid (3): Litcube: "Mluh" = I'm nonplussed by this short and have to re-read. Having re-read, I can say three stars is how I'm going. I think that Qualcomm is right: It's obvious and boring. But I also think Snow is right. It picks up toward the end and it's better than a two, but it damn sure ain't no four.
01/4/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (4): Middle was great, last couple lines were ass.
01/4/2005 qualcomm: christ
01/4/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: You want to talk vote inflation, talk this.
01/4/2005 The Rid: Streifenbeuteldachs, what?
01/4/2005 Dylan Danko (4): 3 star short and an extra one for the discussion of standards.
01/4/2005 Ewan Snow: Okay, after reading these other comments and seeing these other four star votes I wish I had given it a three. But qc, you're full of malarky re: the grades staying steady, according to your own internal study!
01/4/2005 anonymous: Disney: There was some hot cock-suck action where the blond woman took the entire of the guys black cock to the hilt, serious deep-throat. Then he tongue-fucked her pussy. The doggy part was cool because the guys cock was so long, it sort of bowed a bit as it entered her pussy, forming a quasi-'n' before finising its long course into the woman's vag-canal. Very exciting.
01/4/2005 TheBuyer (2): the discussion aside, this one really didn't anything for me. apologies.
01/4/2005 Jon Matza: Major tone problems here in my, Matza's, opinion. And that last line seems especially non-fruit cocktail. Though I disagree with qc on general principle I also thought this was closer to a two than a three. "Artfully wrought recapitulation" was a nice turn of phrase, though. I'll give you that, "author".
01/4/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: Hey, maybe it's because I'm not part of the blue-nosed cadre who've seen endlessly rehashed themes, theses and leitmotivs until brainstorming - and proving - the insight that every short can be dissected into its three historic component shorts, two written by qc and one by Ewan, and none involving a goat, but I honestly thought this was a four star job. It wasn't funny, but it was humorous, and I believe I caught a musty whiff of Ambrose and Dickens there, too, so shut the fuck up!
01/4/2005 anonymous: i agree with streifen
01/4/2005 anonymous: Yeah, Streifenbeuteldachs is right!
01/4/2005 anonymous: "Thanks," "Matza." And "Streif."
01/4/2005 qualcomm: bluenosed has nothing to do with it, streifen; it's a taste thing. no, i've never seen a short precisely about this topic before. i've also never seen a short about that awful food in the school cafeteria, but that doesn't mean you get points for breaking such crappy ground. also, matza's right, the tone is lousy. it's so pointedly tongue-in-cheek i want to kill. i can hear this thing being declaimed (through a smirk) by some second-string editorialist on the daily show.
01/4/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: My four wasn't because I thought the author was breaking new ground, but because I genuinely enjoyed it. Mayhaps that's because I had subconsciously started a sepia-toned History Channel slideshow in my mind as I read it, but who knows. The short had some great phrases, too.
01/4/2005 qualcomm: yeah, that first part of my previous comment was equally directed at snow, who said he hadn't seen this premise before. streifen, would you mind telling me a choice phrase from this short so i can contradict your opinion of it?
01/4/2005 anonymous: DISNEY!!!!! QC is cheating! He's commenting on pending shorts! NO FAIR!!!! Since he has no admin privileges, please take away his regular privileges!
01/4/2005 qualcomm: you sound like ewan.
01/4/2005 anonymous: SO DO YOU!
01/4/2005 hagit mizrachy (3):
01/4/2005 Benny Maniacs (3): "That’s what I’m talking about".
01/4/2005 anonymous: Benjamin, where have you been? Why are you not writing?
01/4/2005 scoop (2): This stinks.
01/4/2005 anonymous: I knew it was just a matter of time.
01/5/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: streifen, would you mind telling me a choice phrase from this short so i can contradict your opinion of it?
1) In those bursting cock veins I see the neck veins of countless lynched African slaves swaying dead in the malevolent breeze of fear. [admitting the awkwardness of the repeated use of vein]
2) In that slick vaginal juice oozing from between those svelte white legs I see the salve of Black leaders’ courage and personal bravery
3) artfully wrought recapitulation, right through to the joyous climax accompanying the successful passage of equal-rights legislation
01/5/2005 qualcomm: those first two sentences are exactly what i was referring to when i said "...pointedly tongue-in-cheek...i can hear this thing being declaimed (through a smirk) by some second-string editorialist on the daily show." as for the third example, it's fine, but nothing to get excited about. oh, streifen.
01/5/2005 John Slocum: Grumpy-wumpy curmudgeony fart. No more discounts on wine. Scoop, no more discounts on little bottles of coca-cola, wide-load jowl face.
01/5/2005 Dylan Danko: I still get discounts, right Sloc?? Me? I'm better than they are, aren't I buddy? Allow me to vote again. I know it don't count but just to see that five there, doesn't it make you feel better, baby?
01/5/2005 Pale Male (5):
01/5/2005 Load File (5):
01/5/2005 scoop: Anything for a fix of the old happy juice, eh Danko?
01/5/2005 Susan Sontag (5):
01/5/2005 scoop: Brookline navel fisting.
01/5/2005 The Foonch (5):
01/5/2005 Dylan Danko: Hey, thanks guys. My friend John will sure appreciate it. He's such a great guy.
01/5/2005 Shane Mahoney (5):
01/5/2005 Dylan Danko: Oh Shane, there you go pulling up there rear as usual. Well don't sweat it, we appreciate your effort.
01/5/2005 Ewan Snow: So Shane Mahoney is Dylan? What a dick.
01/5/2005 Dylan Danko: Yeah, I am a dick but Shane is unfortunately not me.
01/5/2005 Jon Matza: Shane: what does this short have to do with rezources or the rainforest (or whatever the fuck it was)? Huh? (you swollen, pustulous briefcase?)
01/6/2005 Shane Mahoney: Let's put it this way, sir: I don't like to come between an outdoorsman and his experience of our vital natural rezources, but the fact of the matter is that the Dakar Rally destroys approximately 7,000 hectares of cryptogamic soil each year, disrupting the fragile ecosystem that supports such native species as the kangaroo mouse, the scarab beetle, and of course, the rictus crane.