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"Jack it off, mom!!!!!!" I screamed, "jack off my giant dick!!!" Nothing happened. My frenzy grew. "Jack that shit off! Jack off my huge penis, mom!! JACK THE SHIT OUT OF MY TITANIC THROBBING PENIS!!!!!" My hips were inadvertently grinding, a cyclical and lusty tic. Still, nothing happened. I looked up.

Across the lot, an elderly lady was staring blankly, her squirrelly eyes black, beady, and scared. A couple of ratty looking teens were giggling.

Fuck, this wasn't Arabian Nights, and my car door wasn't the robbers' dungeon. Even if it was, the password would have simply been "Open Sesame". What the fuck was I thinking? I dug my keys out, unlocked the door, and drove home.

Date Written: January 07, 2005
Author: Streifenbeuteldachs
Average Vote: 2

01/18/2005 Will Disney: This one sure didn't go where I was expecting it to go.
01/18/2005 John Slocum (2): doesn't work.
01/18/2005 qualcomm (2): don't worry, author, slocum generally doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. trust me, though, when i tell you this doesn't work.
01/18/2005 Dylan Danko (2): agreed
01/18/2005 The Rid (2): I thought TREE was dead.
01/18/2005 Mr. Pony: I'm not sure if this works or not because I have no idea what it's trying to do.
01/18/2005 John Slocum: qualcomm's a twerp.
01/18/2005 anonymous: I kinda knew this one wasn't that good.
01/18/2005 TheBuyer: you should call your mother.
01/18/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: It's like this entire short is a vehicle for the phrase "jack off my huge penis, mom".
01/18/2005 TheBuyer: which actually isn't a bad thing in itself, just too bad it didn't go anywhere. you should call your mother too.
01/18/2005 Litcube: Hwut theu Heyuef?
01/18/2005 cuntry: i'm noticing a trend of solid openers coming to nothing in the end
01/19/2005 Mr. Pony: But cuntry, couldn't the same be said of many tales, such as any given episode of A&E's Biography?
01/19/2005 The Rid: Streif, this is you? Hmmm...my guest author-detector is off!