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I rolled the 30-sided die rather emphatically, as was my custom, to maintain the charade. The eunuchs watching over me weren't so much jealous as they were bitter at my life's pleasant fate. I would be sleeping with #27 tonight. But the mystery woman held no allure. The novelty of this arrangement, once captivating, had begun to fade with each post-coital rumination. A thesis inspiration grown cold here among the the mountains in Provo, which no longer bore a resemblance to breasts (or "saltpeter letdowns," as the Eunuchs called them). The Law of Diminishing Returns would have been an apt heading had I been able to submit my final work for review. Instead, the eunuch Randy, a walking contradiction, saw fit to render my genitals obsolete with a bowl of piping hot chicken broth...

Date Written: January 12, 2005
Author: Turgid
Average Vote: 3

01/24/2005 The Rid: Mm-hmm...
01/24/2005 Will Disney: With a name like that, he certainly was a walking contradiction. Good point there.
01/24/2005 TheBuyer: Ya, this style bugs me today, it comes off too smartypants for my liking.
01/24/2005 Jon Matza: turĀ·gid
Pronunciation: 't&r-j&d
Function: adjective
2. excessively embellished in style or language :
01/24/2005 Litcube: Hrm.
01/24/2005 Will Disney: I think this one could have used some more HOT action.
01/24/2005 Mr. Pony: Why is it that when I try to work out what's going on here, I eventually find myself alone, on a barren and airless plain?
01/24/2005 Litcube: Heh.
01/24/2005 The Rid: So we're all stumped, huh?
01/24/2005 The Rid: Pony: Yeah!
01/25/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (2): I'm going to do it. I have to vote. It was too overwritten, though "saltpeter letdowns" was delightful.
01/25/2005 Ewan Snow: Wait, who's Turgid again? Is he somebody else or just himself? I thought this one was okay, though it was trying a little too hard maybe. Certainly not a two in my book. More fourish, I'd say.
01/25/2005 TheBuyer: It reminds me of that Texxx stuff, no offense if that bothers you Turgid, it's the best example I can think of to describe the 'smartypants' comment from below.
I thought it was a three at best, but probably would vote two.
01/25/2005 Ewan Snow: Yeah, but I thought the idea was the speaker was a putz, a character not unlike the comic book guy from The Simpsons.
01/25/2005 TheBuyer: I should qualify that, it wasn't a completely original thought - re: Tex- seed was planted by qualcomm and Matza comments before his stuff was ressurected..
01/25/2005 TheBuyer: See your point, it's way funnier in that voice, but there isn't enough there for me to think of the speaker that way. The 30 sided die, is pretty nerdy, I guess, but it would be a really good way to pick!
03/25/2005 Ewan Snow (4):