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Kwal Kahm City. This was the source. All the brown collected here in chocolatey eddys and tide pools. Percival killed the engine and we drifted noiselessly into the mouth of the lagoon.

Looming just beyond shore, Kwal Kahm's temple rose out of the crapsodden soil. The filthgod's momument to his style, wit, intellect. Symbols, rendered with pagan crudity, adorned its facade. Pie charts and a bar graph. Spurting. Signs of html tampering were everywhere. Aliases. Inside jokes. Hanging from the trees, gutted shorts dangled, eviscerated comment strings hung languidly and fleshy chunks of argument littered the main stair. Lobster faced cats played with the scraps. They went bat-bat with their little nuggety kitty poopies, too. A tattered ACME SHORTS banner flapped in the breeze. Upon it, scrawled in feces, were the words, I GET IT. HEY, F.U!

"Guest awthr! gest awthr! Gues autor hear, it's ok! ok! Im'a guest hear to!"

The shouting man ran toward the boat as we touched the shore. We shook hands.

"hay ok seeryess why r you hear man. uh, noone cums hear, man. seeryiss.?"

"I'm here to talk to Kwal Kahm."

“ah no way? man? hey seriessly nobuddy talks to kwel kahm the poet scatologist i mean lissen man lissen to this what was that damned, damned feeling, I wondered, crawling west for the fuck of it, my shirt hanging off my sunburnt back in one-panel-cartoon shreds. Some kind of sepia-toned lost innocence that had to be a fiction you do not repeat do not talk to him man he talks to you i mene not even me seriessly take it from me a guy who on a pretty reguler basis talks with sometimes more then 200 persons in a single day and who really can drinks berrs and fucked chicks for six whole years while you FAGITS were studieing...HAY I am just kidding the only reason I said fagit was to get a reaction look I am just visitng kwal kam to have a good time no to cause contriversie no are you taking me seriessly it was just a joke hey hey where are you going I am really disapointid I saw that coming a mile I knew you would just walk passed me hey everybody look at dick vomit he wants everyone to know he has more important places to be! What are they gonna say about kwil kam that he was a cantankerous man WRONG man WORNG hey where are you going seriessly all part of my joke dudes hey mister joshua I think dick vomit wants to be in are cable hello Is this thing on I am a retard and an asshole DO NOT FORGET HEY!”



Date Written: January 12, 2005
Author: Dick Vomit
Average Vote: 4.6667

01/28/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (4): Delicious, and Conradian. It was Vonnegut before. Will you do Kinsey next?

01/28/2005 The Rid: Hmm. One big, long, inside shit joke, this short. I'm nonplussed. I want to like this, I really do, but...
01/28/2005 Will Disney: wow, this is nutty!
01/28/2005 anonymous: It (mercifully?) ends with this afternoon's installment.


01/28/2005 John Slocum: the pen is mightier than the sword.
01/28/2005 Mr. Pony: Also, swords don't work here.
01/28/2005 Jon Matza: So tree-like figure=Dennis Hopper in Apocalypse Now & Kwal Komm=Kurtz. Shouldn't this be an inside short?
01/28/2005 TheBuyer: That could be any guest author.
01/28/2005 anonymous: Happy to go back and mark as inside, but at this point didn't think it was necessary.


01/28/2005 anonymous: Done.
01/28/2005 John Slocum: author, I'd like to commend you on your accomodating flexibility. Always ready to follow a suggestion, no ego here.
01/28/2005 Jon Matza: Author: you took the ego out of ergo, leaving a sole r. Then you were like, 'sole r power rulez!'
01/28/2005 Ewan Snow: Matza, that's the dumbest joke I've laughed out loud at in a while...
01/28/2005 John Slocum: OJ? Snow?
01/28/2005 TheBuyer (4): The momument description reminds me of this .
01/29/2005 Litcube: Momument. That's funny to say. "Momument," I said, smiling at my monitor.
01/31/2005 Litcube (5):
02/2/2005 qualcomm (5): fu, alliance.
02/2/2005 The Rid (5): QC: Ditto.
02/2/2005 port jervis (5): DICK VOMIT has a posse