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Date Written: January 14, 2005
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 3.5

01/20/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: I must admit, from the title I imagined something very different.
01/20/2005 Will Disney: So the purple guy crashed into the brick wall?
01/20/2005 The Rid: I quote Litcube: "Hrm."
01/20/2005 qualcomm: no, disney, he's sad because he led the other fellas to a dead end
01/20/2005 anonymous: Disney: he didn't crash into the wall, he just led them to it. They couldn't pass, and therefore, had to go back. Duh!
01/20/2005 Ewan Snow: That's true, qc, but disney is not incorrect, I think. I understood it as Ben leading the other items to crash into the brick wall.
01/20/2005 John Slocum: Ben's not such a good *leader!*
01/20/2005 Ewan Snow: Author, please revise your comment (and the meaning of your short) based on my interpretation.
01/20/2005 Ewan Snow (3): I'll pop this short's cherry with a three. I think this one tries to pull off the anti-joke thing, meaningless blobs have a meaningless adventure, which leads to a "surprising" show of emotion from one of the blobs. But it didn't really get a laugh or a smirk out of this guy.
01/20/2005 anonymous: Dude, do you see any bandages or crutches?!?
01/20/2005 qualcomm: i wish author, whomever that could possibly be, hadn't called them "irregular blobs"
01/20/2005 Dylan Danko (3): I wish the blob known as Bon was a different color.
01/20/2005 anonymous: qc, snow called them blobs, not me, but point taken. snow: ok, but perhaps your dismissive summary fails to acknowledge certain charbroiled elements!!!
01/20/2005 Dylan Danko: What was QC's point?
01/20/2005 scoop: What the fucking hell fuck?
01/20/2005 qualcomm: i meant, figures, author. danko, my point is that calling our heroes "irregular figures" drew too much attention to the nonsensicalness of the comic. made it a little too explicit for this guy's taste.
01/20/2005 Ewan Snow: Author, I didn't intend for it to be dismissive. I like the anti-joke thing in general and "meaningless" wasn't intended to be pejorative, merely descriptive. I just think that at this point, we've all absorbed this form of joke and are no longer surprised by it (yes, I speak for everyone on the site). As for the bandages and crutches, I took the motion lines to indicate that they had bounced off the wall, like Michael Jackson; my mistake. What luster-plus elements am I missing?
01/20/2005 Ewan Snow: Good title, though.
01/20/2005 qualcomm: i am the only one on the acme who fully understands the language of matza komix. thank you.
01/20/2005 Ewan Snow: isn't it spelt "comix"?
01/20/2005 qualcomm: well, maybe if the artist were r. crumb
01/20/2005 John Slocum (3): I have to say, text/ideas/jokes aside, I always love the Matzian color schemes. They're sort of childrens books dreamy-dark, like the Lorax or the Night Kitchen. How do you pick colors for these comics?
01/20/2005 qualcomm: yes, and hwhere do you get your ideas
01/20/2005 John Slocum: yes, from hwhere?
01/20/2005 Ewan Snow: And hwhen are you most creative? And hwhy?
01/20/2005 Litcube (5):
01/20/2005 qualcomm: by the way, i love the idea of matza as children's book writer... wildly popular children's book writer, at a book signing
01/20/2005 qualcomm: this short's storyline is an acme parable. as you may have noticed, matza's injunction of late has been for all of us to just mellow out. breathe. chill. we are like the irregular shapes, drifting contentedly through the ether. then, one of them stops chilling and decides he's leader, imposing undue order on the heretofore jacuzzi proceedings. the result: a brick wall in the ether, an emotional block, if you will. creativity is stifled. later, things have returned to normal -- a chaotic, chillaxin' status quo, but ben is inconsolable over his failure. and here is matza's most valuable lesson of all: if an author harshes on the mellow with some non-velamint 'tude, don't judge him. that would only tighten the knot in acme's trapezus. rather, like the prodigal son's father, etc.
01/20/2005 John Slocum: In a red track suit.
01/20/2005 Mr. Pony: Still, Ben failed as a leader, despite his followers' generous words. He should punish himself severely.
01/20/2005 anonymous: qc-hats off! that comment made me unleash several infectious chuckles. snow: e.g., horton use of quote marks lending the whole thing a flonase 'silent movie title' quality. and the lutefisk retarded, stiltedly formal bad dialogue. god damn it!
01/20/2005 Ewan Snow: Okay, fella, okay. I didn't get the silent move schtick from the quotation marks, maybe because comics are already, you know, silent. If you had "word" panels in black and white between the picture panels, and if they said things like "...and so, a plan is hatched!" and if they had those curly things like in silent movies, then I would have got it. The stilted language I saw as an extension of the "look how dumb this is" quality and it was factored into your final grade for the semester. However, if qc is right, and this was a parable I missed, then I owe you a star.
01/20/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): It was good, but there wasn't a lot to it.
01/20/2005 TheBuyer (4): for valuable lessons and mellowing
01/20/2005 scoop: That lesson is a crock of shit.
01/20/2005 Jon Matza: Scoop-do you mean the 'lesson's' 'message', or that there was a lesson at all? Just "cyur"
01/20/2005 Ewan Snow: more like "nyer"
01/20/2005 Jon Matza: new yorker?
01/20/2005 scoop: Well I'm not going to try to hold you or the content of you ART responsible for QC's interpretation, however I do think that the message articulated by QC -- in a very Leomn Scent Matzwesque fashion -- is a crock of shit. Someone's always setting the agenda. Whether it's the mellow irregular shaped blob or the "pro-active" irregular shaped blog, someone's imposing their will on the group. Moreover, if some ass hole is being ass hole I shouldn't call him an ass hole? Why the hell not?
01/20/2005 Ewan Snow: "Nyer" is a word coined by our friend who went by the nom de acme "sniffthecorn". It means, essentially, easily scandalized or prone to squeamishness in the face of all things naughty.
01/20/2005 qualcomm: oh, i'm not saying i agree with the short's message. i'm just saying what it is.
01/20/2005 Dylan Danko: History has an ebb and flow of justice, but history also has a visible direction set by liberty and the author of liberty.
01/20/2005 Dylan Danko: America, in this young century, proclaims liberty throughout all the world and to all the inhabitants thereof. Renewed in our strength -- tested, but not weary -- we are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom
01/20/2005 TheBuyer: The best hope for peace in our world is the expansion of freedom in all the world.
01/20/2005 Cyrus: or drugs. Nobody starts a war if their stoned.
01/20/2005 Ewan Snow: Cyrus: it's spelt "they're".
01/20/2005 Cyrus: Thanks....jerk
01/20/2005 anonymous: 1. This certainly wasn't consciously intended as a parable, but I was buying qc's interpretation (though aware t'wasn't necessarily 100% sincere) until the last ("most valuable lesson") part. I think it, the comic, is descriptive, not instructive (i.e., "this is what tends to happen to self-proclaimed leaders", not "this is how one should treat failed self-proclaimed leaders"). As history shows I'm in favor of calling a tard a tard, or at least bringing the tard's tardedness to the surface to make them account for it.

to be continued...
01/20/2005 The Rid: Abstain.
01/20/2005 anonymous: 2. scoopster. I've noticed that while you seem to regard "art" with skepticism in general, you seem to reserve a special loathing (revulsion, venom) for frivolous/ childish/ symbolic/ abstract/ silly/ surreal "art" (of the I'm a pants/Matza variety). While I, Matza have no problem whatsoever with this animosity, even cherish it, what confuses me is that you often (it seems to me) enjoy written shorts with a similar sensibility. Not childish ones, necessarily, but here are some examples of past Matza shorts that share some of these characteristics, yet which you purported to enjoy. In this case you even offered a qc-like interpretation/exigesis! As a member of the press, can you comment?

Note: I, 'za, am working on some vintage observations/musings re acme vigilantism/leadership in general (following up "issues" raised by qc below)...will post 'em when ready. Huzzah!
01/21/2005 Litcube: That wall... So sudden...
01/21/2005 TheBuyer: That and the Matza tear; I want to go and a star to the The Three Tales.
01/21/2005 TheBuyer: *add* even. I need a new battery for my Stop-tard.
01/21/2005 Litcube: Honestly, I'm disappointed this rated so poorly, but after my frivolous “It’s a Pants” fiasco, I'm not surprised. I'm so not arguing here, I'm just sharing my regret. I’m in Ben’s mood right now.

Thing is, in my opinion (the way I saw it!), there's nothing to get here. I don’t see an “anti-joke", "lesson", or "parody". If it doesn't immediately hit you with its essence, chances are, it’s not going to. The humour here is very raw, and I think it takes a certain rare kind of individual to see the humour. I could “Pants” ‘till the cows come home, but I’m sure, for the most part, its rated appeal (or lack thereof) from short to short would remain stagnant, and not because they’re all the same joke (a point with which I somewhat disagree).

Regarding your comments to scoop, Matza: I’ve seen ambiguous glimpses of an alternate side to him that tells me he might not be totally repulsed by this flavour of humour.
01/21/2005 Will Disney: Don't you think it's time to bring back Its a Pants?
01/21/2005 Ewan Snow: Litcube, I fundamentally disagree with your premise and several of your points. First of all, the “it takes a certain rare kind of individual to see the humour” comment is silly. We all see the humor in this, we all get this kind of joke, it’s just that there’s only so many times you can get a big laugh out of it. In short, you’re full of poop. I have no time to argue the point further, but please take it for granted that you and your comment are silly!
01/21/2005 scoop: While I admit, Matza, my refined tastes feel more at home in the presence of historiated European Medevial religious texts buttressesd by a healthy dose of hieratic supernaturalism, the mad impasto stylings of the great Master Rembrandt (by Mennen) or the profound grvaitas of honor-doused haniwa the Shinto (Hi-Ya!!!) celebration of life found in those regionated peoples, I can still totally get down with the penetration of deep, hidden mysterious truths hidden by the mundane chilled linearity of pure representation. Klee, Duchamp, Redon, Rousseau -- hell, Rousseau, to borrow from the J-Dawg, was Keeping it Surreal before those other bitches even thought of exploring the menace and revelation that lies at the border of waking and sleeping. I mean just what the fuck is that lion doing with that gypsy anyway? Far from repulsed, 'Za, I like most of this massive swath of art you mentioned in your post below. I don't like all of it, but hey differnet strokes for different folks. As for this piece -- I didn't even really criticize this thing, I was just criticizing the parable-truths spelled out by 'comm. I admit I didn't understand it at first, but listening to Litcube I can see that there was something to it that I missed. And you would agree, wouldn't you, that one can dislike a particular type of something without dismissing the entire category to which it belongs? WOuldn't you? WOULDN'T YOU?
01/21/2005 qualcomm: scoop, to answer your question, i believe the lion is standing alone, with a tadpole in a jar.
01/21/2005 Jon Matza: scoop: thanks for your response, Yes, I admit it. Was just cyur. KIR Royale, dude.
01/21/2005 qualcomm: i just noticed that ben is the only one without a color gradient. that must be why he assumed he was leader.
01/21/2005 qualcomm: history's tyrants have largely been plain-looking men, i mean.
01/21/2005 Jon Matza: p.s. snow: I am wounded by your categorizing of this "a" "joke". There are rich comical delights and treasures to be found in each panel! Re silent movie titles: I didn't mean literally, just that the quote marks gave it that 'feel'. I look forward to further discussing the possibility of my working for your company in the near future.
01/21/2005 Jon Matza: True, qc, if he was a handsome devil like Gon he'd have felt less compelled to socially differentiate himself via the pursuit of wordly achievement...
01/21/2005 Pusher Robot: UNF UNF UNF UNF
02/26/2005 scoop: So what the hell was this pusher robot thing about anyway?
02/26/2005 TheBuyer: Just a tournament joke that cost Mr. Pony his shin.
08/13/2006 Litcube: I stand behind my five.