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Jane *loved* giving blowjobs. And Tarzan loved getting them from her. It was something special they had together. It was a private thing of theirs.
This is why it was especially heartbreaking when Tarzan returned to the glen and found Jane fellating KEETOK, who was the younger brother of CHEETAH, Tarzan's chimp companion. "Mmmm mmmm mmmm" she was saying.
Tarzan watched and felt like he had been torn in two.
Later that evening, they talked.
"It's just, now that I really know you as a person, Tarzan; well, you're just not who I thought you were. We're not that compatible. You're not the person, or thing, that I want to be with anymore."
"JANE NO LOVE TARZAN?" Tarzan asked.
"No, I don't love you anymore Tarzan."
"TARZAN NO CARE."
But it was obvious to both of them that he did care. Tarzan's eyes were welling up. He grabbed a nearby vine and swung off into the woods. Distracted as he was, he clipped a branch, fell, and had to find a different vine to swing away on. As he soared through the jungle, he decided to himself he would never talk to Jane again, and that he would never love anyone again.
Date Written: January 16, 2005
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 4.28571
Comments:
01/24/2005 The Rid (5): Let the bidding begin at five stars.
01/24/2005 Cyrus: What the hell?
01/24/2005 qualcomm (3):
01/24/2005 Jon Matza (4): Disney, right? Sweet story. You were this close to a five!
01/24/2005 anonymous: Thanks!
01/24/2005 TheBuyer (4): she wasn't doing cheetah too though, eh?
01/24/2005 anonymous: Considering the fact that Cheetah was Tarzan's loyal sidekick, I think that might be have an unrecoverable blow, SO TO SPEAK. I kid, I kid, but no seriously, I really think that would have hurt Tarzan's feelings.
01/24/2005 Mr. Pony (4): Loved Tarzan's awkward retreat.
01/24/2005 Litcube (5): Upon completion of this piece, I blew air out of my mouth, lips tight, while looking around the room for people to share this joke. No one was around. This continued for 10 seconds.
01/24/2005 Phony Millions (4): Wistful.
01/24/2005 qualcomm: really starting to repeat yourself, aren't you, disney? what a jerk.
01/24/2005 anonymous: it's called a SEQUEL, dude!
01/24/2005 Jawbreaker (5): Jane is such a bitch!
01/25/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (5): This was great, from the "private thing of theirs" to "TARZAN NO CARE".
01/25/2005 Daphne: Jane should have been more honest with Tarzan.
01/25/2005 cuntry (4):
01/25/2005 Cyrus: Did I miss something in this short?
01/25/2005 Ewan Snow: Probably. Because, you know, you're not very smart...
01/25/2005 Cyrus: OK smart guy can you point it out? The last graf seems to be a mismatch to the rest of the short. I guess it could be considered funny but doesn't really cut it for me.
01/27/2005 John Slocum (5): "Mmmm mmmm mmmm" Slocum was saying as he read Disney's short. This is the disney style I adore, relaxing as Pony has said before. Only thing is: Disney, you blatantly ripped off a Qualcomm short by stealing the word 'Glen' from him. Sure, his elf short hadn't been posted when you wrote this, but the ripoff was done by ethernet.
07/21/2005 Mr. Pony: I really blew it on this one. Meaning that I should have given it a higher vote.
07/21/2005 qualcomm: me too. meaning the opposite.
07/21/2005 Mr. Pony: Well, that balances out, I guess.
06/28/2007 Lady Pissant (4): Boy, that Jane really messed up by teaching Tarzan to speak; men are just better when they keep their big yappers shut!
06/28/2007 Lady Pissant: I also liked the awkward retreat; that's how the fellas generally leave Lady Pissant after I've kicked 'em to the curb!
06/28/2007 Will Disney: Welcome to AcmeShorts, Lady Pissant!
06/29/2007 Mylittlepony (3): I can identify
07/24/2007 Dylan Danko (5):
05/3/2010 Marvin_Bernstein: this one, especially is definitely toned down, it's like pastel colors all over the floor..
Diz: you are way too nice to your characters.