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The three cerulean moons of Morktond lurched inexorably toward each other, moved as if by some malevolent, perfidious hand. They nearly aligned in the blood-red sky, a portent of the Dark Overlord, just as it was foretold in the Book of Ages. The thundering of the Overlord’s henchmen rumbled in the distance. Once the moons became as one it would be like the hands of a clock striking midnight and the end of the forces of good and light in all the land.

Morktond’s only hope were two peasant children Scout and Pagan, who were born with the body markings promised in prophecy. Joined together the markings revealed the map to the Forgotten Chamber where there existed a secret passage out of their world and in to a new one. Once there, they would be able open portals so the good people of Morktond could begin anew.

No one knew what lay beyond the secret passage. Much had been written about the fabled land but it was impossible to separate legend from truth. Whatever awaited them, Scout and Pagan were about to find out. They squeezed one another’s hand, closed their eyes and leapt into the void…

A police radio crackled in the frigid morning air. Police lights silently flashed. Sgt. Hayes struggled to comprehend just what the hell the livery cab driver was saying. He was jabbering away in a mix of English and Arabic. Frustrated he stormed away and barked at Officer Doherty.

“Get some police tape up here would you.” Fucking rookie, Hayes thought.

A crowd gathered at the corner of Roosevelt Avenue and Junction Boulevard in the immigrant community of Corona in Queens. Even some of the day laborers waiting for work came over to look at the two children lying in fresh pools of blood.

“Ah estimado, esos dos chidlren fue golpeado con gran fuerza por esa cabina de librea,” one said.

Hayes rubbed his temples. If this had happened one block over, one block and those assholes in the 110 would have caught it. “What the hell is this dune coon saying,” Hayes whined with exasperation.

“He’s saying they came out of nowhere, Sarge. He’s saying he was just driving back to the garage and they came out of nowhere.”

“Right, right. Any ID on the kids?”


“God damn it. Alright wait here for the Medical Examiner’s truck. I’m going to go call AIS and ACS. The paperwork on this thing is going to be unbelievable.”

Hayes jabbed his hands in his pockets. The paperwork, he thought, the goddamned paperwork. He hated his job.

Date Written: January 23, 2005
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 3

02/2/2005 Litcube: This is a very long punchline.
02/2/2005 The Rid: Not that I'm comparing, but I think this job shorts captures the feeling better, no?
02/2/2005 qualcomm (3): all the morktond shit was funny. however, the sgt. hayes shit, with its jokes about fatigue and paperwork were kind of lame. i mean, if chris columbus directed an earnest children's adventure movie about these morktond kids arriving in new york, there'd be a grumpy sgt. hayes character, making the same complaints (minus the profanity) to supposedly comic effect. he would, incidentally, be played by brian denehy.
02/2/2005 Dylan Danko: I think you mean Yaphet Kotto, QC.
02/2/2005 qualcomm: oh yeah.
02/2/2005 Mr. Pony (3):
02/2/2005 Dick Vomit: Coming as it does on the heels of some real details, I believe the vaguery "they would be able to open portals" is crucial to appreciation of this short.
02/2/2005 Phony Millions (3): It sort of grows on you - it's dry.
02/2/2005 The Rid (3):
02/3/2005 TheBuyer: This is a very long punchline.
02/3/2005 John Slocum (3):