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Litcube came running back into the hotel room with an ear in his hand; he looked exactly as panicked as a person would look if they were holding a bloody, severed ear belonging to a boy. Everyone stood up. In this case 'everyone' means all the people in the hotel room, not everyone in the whole world; there were four of them and they are not important, neither are the circumstances surrounding their sudden need for a hotel room which can accommodate five people. One person paid for the room on her Visa card and was not paid back by the other four, and this is also not important but is a detail that would bother that person years later and be the catalyst in arguments that would ruin a marriage; the contract of the marriage would be dissolved in equitable terms in a level-headed way in a warm city.
"You guys," Litcube panted, holding the ear in front of him, "I just tore this off some guy in the park. I think he's an gay."
"What?" said a person or several people, it doesn't matter, the important fact is that the words were spoken as questions; I was there, I had on grey pants and some shoes, other clothes as well, "Gay? Ear? Park? Tore? Think? An?"
"Yes, those are all things," he continued to pant, "He kissed like one, the gay, he kissed like an gay!”
Everyone didn't bother to be very pleased.
Date Written: February 28, 2005Comments:
Average Vote: 3.375
03/8/2005 Klause Muppet (5):
03/8/2005 Will Disney: I enjoyed the series of one-word questions. it seemed to me that this short was trying to do two things at the same time (deconstructionist storytelling, litcube's gay kissing), and could've benefitted from a little focus. litcube's claim that he "kissed like a gay" was pretty funny too.
03/8/2005 TheBuyer: an
03/8/2005 Phony Millions (4): Weirdly effective. Noun use of 'gay' pushed it up to a four for me - it's just so...gay!
03/8/2005 Phony Millions: Is this also inspired by that short Tarrantino film - what was it called? - where the guy gets his finger cut off while they're all in a hotel room?
03/8/2005 Litcube: I'm curious if it's inspired by anything else.
03/8/2005 anonymous: Four Rooms, I picture the hotel different. More of a motel..
03/8/2005 John Slocum: Litcube: don't worry, this is about a different Litcube that uses 'an' with words that begin with a consonant. And kisses guys.
03/8/2005 anonymous: It's true. That guy is vi-o-lent!
03/8/2005 Litcube: Who? Me, or the Litcube that Slocum is referring to? I'm tellin' ya, I wouldn't rip the ear off a dude for kissing me. Even if he was gay.
03/8/2005 The Rid (2): I don't know what to call the first paragraph, style-wise, but it's been done before and done better. And the gay joke, tired.
03/8/2005 Jon Matza (3): While I like that last line and thought a few jokes were decent, premise-wise I don't see much difference between this and Tree's notorious list of plagiarized homo-nyms. This some other business going on here, I admit, but the short's still driven by the feeble concept of "Hey, my friend is a homo, ha ha ha ha etc"
03/8/2005 Dick Vomit: Just saying hi.
03/8/2005 anonymous: The joke is not that Litcube is gay, that's a stupid joke, it's supposed to be that Litcube ripped the ear off a guy, ran back into the hotel and told the stupid joke using the ear as a prop, that last line was supposed to suggest that no one liked his dumb joke.
03/8/2005 qualcomm (3):
03/8/2005 anonymous: honestly, I have no idea at all why I did that whole first graph, it's just weird.
03/8/2005 John Slocum (3): I like the first paragraph the best, then the 2nd paragraph. I didn't care so much for paragraphs 3, 4 and 5, but 4 was the best of this latter trio. A fun short, Pony 3.
03/8/2005 Litcube (4):
03/8/2005 Jon Matza: OK, but the way it's written suggested (to me anyhow) that 'cube was a Pants-like dingbat, not an autonomous fellow making conscious choices/trying to be funny. Hence, error.
03/8/2005 Ewan Snow (3):
03/8/2005 anonymous: Yes, I can see that now stepping back from it, there's not enough indication the Litcube is a thinking person. I'm trying to be less overexplainy but this time it went too far and focked it all up.