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Date Written: March 05, 2005
Author: Mr. Pony
Average Vote: 4
Comments:
03/17/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (5): hahahahahah...last....frame...hahahahahhaa....it works on so many levels...ahahahahahahahah!!! Well done, Pony! The Fyornch's expression as he squeezes out a steaming pile of poop is just perfect. I don't get what Ava's doing? Cheering him on? Practicing martial arts? Still, she has a nice ass.
03/17/2005 Benny Maniacs (5): No comment.
03/17/2005 The Rid: You know, if I ask if there's something wrong with me for not wanting to give this five stars, I'm sure someone will tell me exactly what's wrong with me. It's a great idea - and I like The Fyornch - but the last third seems...I don't know, not good.
03/17/2005 Will Disney: fan f'ing tastic
03/17/2005 TheBuyer (5): Ya, that would be a total cousin kiss.
03/17/2005 Ewan Snow: I don't really understand what is happening in this. Is the sex bad? Is it bad because he has to poop? Or is the sex good, which makes him poop. Or is the poop just a non sequitur. I'm all for subtle comics and having to read between the panels, but this is a little too ambiguous. Or is it supposed to be cryptic? Or am I just being dense?
03/17/2005 BOOTIEANDTHEHOFISH (4): Hella funny, especially Fyorch expression third panel from last. 'cept final panel I don't love. I want Fyorchster with a remote and a cig, and Ava staring at the green jizz on her fingers.
03/17/2005 BOOTIEANDTHEHOFISH: You never had the victory shits before Snow?
03/17/2005 Ewan Snow: Um, no, frankly. Is that what this is?
03/17/2005 The Rid: This is a three, I think.
03/17/2005 qualcomm: ava's trying to pork the fyornch. it's not working because he's just not into her in that way. resigned, she realizes that's not what her relationship with the fyornch should be about, anyway. so they go do what they do best: fyornchy mischief.
03/17/2005 The Rid: A plausible explantion, QC. The fact that you had to explain it makes me wonder how good the short is.
03/17/2005 BOOTIEANDTHEHOFISH: Thanks 'comm. Maybe misread this.
Still a four.
03/17/2005 Ewan Snow: That makes sense, but I wouldn't have guessed it. It's hard to tell from the middle panels if the F is having a good time or not. He seems sort of neutral. And the effort lines around A's head were also unclear to me. I wasn't sure if they indicated she was trying (and failing) to make it work, or that she was overcome with fuckingness? Not sure how to vote, cuz I didn't get it at first, and after having it explained, can't really enjoy it. Pony, is it your responsibility to make your comics more clear, or my responsibility to understand more subtle comics? Don't answer that. Actually, yeah, answer that.
03/17/2005 scoop: I'm having similar reservations about this short, The Rid. But I'm having difficulty putting my finger on it. What do you think its problems are?
03/17/2005 anonymous: I never explained this to qualcomm, if that's what you're asking.
03/17/2005 scoop: Hey Author, what about the ambivalence you have instilled in me and The Rid? Can you help us work that out? This installment does seem somehow "off." Your not going to try to tell us there's somehting wrong with us are you? Or are you?
03/17/2005 scoop: And also, when are you going to do a series on your other fake identity, The Finch?
03/17/2005 The Rid: scoop, I feel like this series is lacking something on the whole, though installment 2 was very funny. The idea seems to be, "Hey, you think you've got The Fyornch figured out. Cuz he likes to buttfuck. So he and Anna will hook up. But now that he can buttfuck someone who wants to be buttfucked (or just fucked), look! He really just wants to take a dump! Ha!" Seems like an excuse to confound expectations for the sake of confounding expectations with scatology or buttsex. For some reason, the second Ana/fyornch worked for me. 1 & 3, nah.
03/17/2005 Jon Matza (4): I think their behavior is wrong. What would Mummy and Dad say? Disney, I'd like to see graphic shorts about incestuous/interspecies sex on acme censored in the future. Etc. If qc's right re porking failure, which I think he is, I too missed it on first read & mistook Ava's effort lines for pleasure. Still liked it. Nerfbat hotel sign. Was surprised however by the Fyornch's prodigious defecations after he wouldn't eat in #2. Author, can you comment?
03/17/2005 Ewan Snow (3): No, that isn't what I meant. Anyway, I agree with Rid on 1&3.
03/17/2005 qualcomm: 1) can you please supply drawings of ava's breasts and genitals? there are some things i need to do.
2) also, a drawing of ava vainly sucking at the fyornch's yammy* penis.
*brazil, updike
03/17/2005 qualcomm: and make sure you get the pen and the face
03/17/2005 Will Disney: pen?
03/17/2005 scoop: Hey, Author, how many months pregnanat is Ava?
03/17/2005 Dylan Danko: face?
03/17/2005 Ewan Snow: The "pen and the face" is a porn industry term of art, meaning to show both the woman's face and the penetration in the frame at the same time.
03/17/2005 Will Disney: thanks, ewan!
03/17/2005 qualcomm: also, vag and an are where you put your wien
03/17/2005 The Rid (3):
03/17/2005 Dylan Danko: Interesting. I always thought it was face and ejaculating penis in frame.
03/17/2005 Jimson S. Sorghum (4): You neglected to include a couple of things in your interpretation, QC. What about a girl's (Ava's) ambivalence about becoming a woman--giving it up. She's a little sad at first--in the penultimate panel--and then elated to be free of it. It happens all the time.
03/17/2005 Mr. Joshua (5): Great short, Slocum....thanks for the wine, too.
03/17/2005 Ewan Snow: Jimson, are you saying this is supposed to be Ava's first time in general? I thought it was just the first time between these two. Also, she seems hot to trot at the beginning.
03/17/2005 Dick Vomit: For a moment there I was convinced Ava was doing karate while the F was pooping. And that really threw me for a loop.
03/17/2005 Dick Vomit: Also, Dick Vomit's reading of this was that the F was having performance error & so Ava thought long and hard (panels 19, 20, 21) about what might get him excited. So they have a nice hallshit to get him in the mood.
03/17/2005 Dick Vomit: Also, maybe it is not Ava's first time, but the Fyornch's. See how she guides him throughout the sequence. And yet, nothing.
03/17/2005 Jimson S. Sorghum: Yeah: 'Ava and the Fyornch: Ava's First Time.' Is that a bold assumption? It doesn't matter that she's hot to trot. She can still have misgivings once the act is in process. There's a multitude of emotions a woman/girl can feel during her first time.
03/17/2005 Jimson S. Sorghum: Also, catharsis=poop.
03/17/2005 Jimson S. Sorghum: The karate thought occurred to me as well, Dick Vomit. But I was pretty sure that the grimace in the 4th panel from the end meant penetration.
03/17/2005 Jimson S. Sorghum: Or (final interpretation) maybe Ava penetrates Fyornch anally, hence poop.
03/17/2005 Klause Muppet (4): I agree with qualcomm's interpretation. i think F just doesn't dig the intimate thing and prefers shitting and butt fucking dead people. Oh well, they had to try it at least once to see if "it" was there. I've enjoyed this series, especially the first one.
03/17/2005 TheBuyer: Hooray for Klause!
They both know that they make better friends than lovers so instead of fucking (cousin kiss), they go into the hall and play (poo-traps). It's that simple, right? Pony? Right? Right?
03/17/2005 Jon Matza: Author: would you be willing to speak to these various interpretations/comments? No slippery "one interpretation is as valid as the next" evasions, please. We, your readership, want to know your actual intentions. (Some of us at least.) (0 I3)
03/17/2005 Mr. Pony: Of course I would, and will, and soon. I must now attend to the needs of my beloved wife. Please feel free to comment & discuss in the interim, if you so choose. In the meantime, I would like to thank those of you who read with a modicum of care. I realize that a story with no words is a slippery thing to get a firm hold on, and I thank you for your tenacity and attention.
03/17/2005 qualcomm: needs?
03/17/2005 Ewan Snow: Hey, did you changed the name? Wasn't it "the first time" this morning? (0 I3)
03/17/2005 Litcube (4): So far the lesser in terms of humour level, Pony, but I see this as a delightful story builder. As far as framing/timing, technical, etc., well done.
Agreeing with Qualcomm: judging by Fyornch’s awkwardly outstretched arms in panel 4, he doesn’t have a clue what to do in this situation (and by that I mean sek-shoouly). By Ava’s one eye in panel 6, and her “what are you doing” expression in panel 13, it’s quite clear she’s getting nowhere. Instead, he poos as she practices her tai otoshi, or quite possibly tsurikoma goshi against an air opponent. Or she’s cheering him on (much in the same fashion a skateboarder would had something totally fucking rad just happened related to skateboarding).
03/17/2005 Phony Millions (3): Fucking quirky for sure. The poop comes off as arbitrary to me, although maybe there's supposed to be a random quality about it in that bottom frame - "surprise - it's just all about poop."
03/17/2005 Jimson S. Sorghum: I just want to make clear that at no point was I disagreeing with qualcomm. God forbid.
03/18/2005 Dick Vomit: WHERE ARE OUR ANSWERS, PONY?
03/18/2005 Mr. Pony: one sec
03/18/2005 Mr. Pony: here they come
03/18/2005 Mr. Pony: Ladies and Gentlemen,
This story is primarily told in the facial expressions and body language of the characters. A story of this kind requires (perhaps counter-intuitively) as much scrutiny as a dense text short, and furthermore (therefore?), leaves a lot more open to interpretation. That said, there is a story here.
Despite her maturity, this is indeed Ava's first time (possibly due to her close relationship with the dangerous FYORNCH). She knows she wants to lose her virginity, almost to get it over with, but also with high expectations (this is not immediately apparent in the comic, but can be inferred, maybe, from human psychology). The FYORNCH is willing to go along with it, if only to make Ava happy. He doesn't know what he's doing either (panel 4); this new tenderness being understandably different from his usual violent ass-rape. Ava senses early on (panel 6) that this isn't going to work, but decides to escalate things anyway (panel 10, etc.) She eventually climbs atop the supine FYORNCH, forcing penetration in panel 16. She is immediately disturbed by the sensation. She tries several shifts in position, but is unable to make the intrusion anything but uncomfortable (19-21). The FYORNCH and Ava share their first moment of connection and understanding in the strip (22-23, in contrast to their intimate but emotionally isolated embrace earlier (12)), realizing together that nothing will come of this. They retire to the motel hallway, where the FYORNCH lays gigantic doo-doo bombs before the doors of other guests, as Ava cheers him on. This is where their relationship does work, and it's clearly more important to Ava than losing her virginity. The FYORNCH just wants to make the girl happy.
My intention in this was not so much to be funny, but rather to use sexually explicit and scatological content to make a story that is ultimately sweet and touching. I'm not sure that Acme is the place to be showing these (expectations here can be pretty specific), but I'd get totally canned if I did this at my other job. Also, I realize that, as with Father Miller versus the Squid God, the experience of reading the story is very different from the experience of drawing it, and as the drawer, I will see many more details than are apparent to the average (or even above-average) reader. Maybe it's the same way one can read a spouse's or life partner's facial expressions far better than a stranger could. Or maybe it's the skimming habits we've picked up from reading comics like Peanuts and Garfield, where each strip is essentially a re-ordered photocopy of the last (not to inappropriately compare my work to the Masters'). Either way, in the future, I shall strive for clarity. I like leaving things open to interpretation, but being a bit of a control freak, I would sort of like to have complete dominion over these other "interpretations" if possible.
I thank you.
03/18/2005 qualcomm: you're incorrect, pony. there was no penetration.
03/18/2005 Ewan Snow: Panel 16 is pen.
03/18/2005 qualcomm: panel 16 is fyornch's quarter-hard wien kinking against ava's spasming, locked-tight vajj
03/18/2005 Ewan Snow: What? Looks like female superior to me.
03/18/2005 qualcomm: how are those mutually exclusive?
03/18/2005 Ewan Snow: Just making sure you were counting right, I guess. It looks to me like she's settle right down on it.
03/18/2005 scoop: Yeah but Pony, what fleeting thought is Ava having in the undrawn moment between frames 5 and 6?
03/18/2005 qualcomm: oh, i actually did count wrong. yeah, still no penetration. her teencunt is tighter than a spooked cherrystone.
03/18/2005 Phony Millions: the mind reels...
03/18/2005 Mr. Pony: female superior
03/18/2005 Mr. Pony: Exactly, scoop; that was exactly the point I was trying to make. If people would read these things more carefully, they'd have a better sense of what was going on, and everyone would be happier.
03/18/2005 scoop: And also, Pony, in prior interviews you have said Ava was gripped with a Proustian sense-memory of her troubled childhood when she reaceched for the terrycloth robe in. HOWEVER in the director's commentary you clearly said they were staying at a Marriot, which uses COTTON robes not terry cloth robes. How do you explain that? I mean do you expect me to believe that the Marriot just suddenly decided to change a company wide policy or what? Don't you feel such incongruites cast doubt on the veracity of Ava's aforementioned inner life? I mean come on.
03/18/2005 Mr. Pony: That's a great point, scoop; and I think it only serves to underline and definitively prove everything else I've ever said about anything.
03/18/2005 Jimson S. Sorghum: I really thought 21 was pen. The grimace.
03/18/2005 Jimson S. Sorghum: That is, the hard squint. I don't want you to think I would compare the Fyornch to the Grimace.
03/21/2005 Shomer Shabbas (4): First impression 3 stars, after the comments and re-viewings, it's grown on me. Nice rack.
03/29/2005 John Slocum (3): I've been sort of stuck on this one. I don't think it stands alone from the rest of the series. The final panel seems like a diving lunge for the acme mileu, not that the mileu is fixed or anything, but before the final panel the rest seems long and labored. I prefer 'Star Trek Fan Fiction' to this one, for a long, droning set up for power packed end panel style.