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I thought it would be safe to live next to a church, but a week after I moved in someone shot me in the neck. I went back inside, keeping pressure on the wound, but it kept squirting through my fingers. 911 had me holding for the length of some Phil Spector song. I was getting dizzy. There was blood in my throat and it tickled. When the woman answered, my voice was nearly gone. I got embarrassed and hung up.

I went back out and stood on the stoop. It was late. The pretty girl from the deli walked by. I remembered something about churches always being open, so I went next door and walked inside. There was a janitor sweeping underneath the big Jesus.

I made it down the aisle and collapsed at the pulpit. I was too weak to keep my hand over my neck. The janitor knelt down and did it for me. He had a likable face. I took solace that for him this would be memorable. Maybe even life-changing.

Date Written: March 12, 2005
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 4

03/18/2005 Partytime (4):
03/18/2005 Will Disney: this is an interesting little "thought diary", huh?
03/18/2005 Ewan Snow (4): Yeah, that must have been awkward with 911. I would have hung up too.
03/18/2005 Dylan Danko (4):
03/18/2005 Mr. Pony (4): (also, no comment)
03/18/2005 cuntry (4): almost as moving as the last 45 minutes of million dollar baby
03/18/2005 TheBuyer (5):
03/18/2005 Shomer Shabbas (3):
03/18/2005 Jimson S. Sorghum (4):
03/18/2005 Klause Muppet (4):
03/18/2005 Phony Millions (4): A couple awkaward sentences - first graf second sentence, 'went back inside' is unprepared - back from where? - and last graf, 'took solace that...' is awkward for me - had to read it twice. Really like the dry brevity though and it's not derivative at all.
03/18/2005 Jon Matza (4): More interesting/"creative" than funny. Pleasant l'il change up. 3.75
03/20/2005 BrainDamaged (4): Like a recanted dream... interesting ilogical
03/27/2005 Litcube (4):
04/26/2005 Front (5): maybe even indeed.
07/1/2005 scoop (3): Oh, oh, I'm so experimental. Oh, oh. To parapharse cuntry, almost as moving as my last BOWEL movement. But seriously, take my wife, please. She has AIDS.