home authors guest shorts graphical shorts
Her cunt was getting wetter and wetter with every sip. I remember little, so taken was I by the raucous issue spewing from her snatch. I forget her name.
The wine was acidic, a hydrochloric saliva of searing musk man fantasy filling my mouth with vain ambition. The tang spread from her craggy poona onto the floor babbling it's waterfall of viscous glycerol secrets. Time stood still. Still, we drank the full, heady draught deep into the night as the alcohol filled our heads and the room filled with quim. We spoke of hopes and anxieties and tannic blood fountains spurting from a ragged cock onto arid soil, the mixing of fluid egos in a desert of creation.
Waist deep in frothy cum, her lips reached forward like a squid’s beak to engulf me and there was a rain splattering against my head, pelting me with pube. I was drunk, not inebriated but poured screaming down her cunt gullet to be absorbed and carried violently end over end through vessels to asphyxiate neurons in a strangling dance of confusion. I blacked out.
I awoke at dawn lying in a bilge water gutter of bile coated in globules of hematic toxin cesspool. I was a poison and I was lost.
Date Written: March 16, 2005Comments:
Author: John Slocum
Average Vote: 4.1667
03/22/2005 Partytime (4): This is clearly enspired by Jeff Buckley's Lilac Wine.
03/22/2005 Will Disney: this is a lovely little story. now, is it a slocum homage, or a slocum original, or what?
03/22/2005 John Slocum: Whaadjasay?
03/22/2005 mr.coffee (5): fucking awesome!
03/22/2005 Dick Vomit: squid's beak.
03/22/2005 qualcomm: i do not prefer this short. the language is supposed to be poetic, i guess, but it comes off to me as vague and unevocative. the switch from first person singular to plural and back again is inexplicable (if i'm wrong here, please explic). some of the sentences contain structural error, like, "I was drunk, not inebriated but poured screaming down her cunt gullet to be absorbed and carried violently end over end through vessels to asphyxiate neurons in a strangling dance of confusion." why the word "but"? would not being drunk have prevented you from being poured down her cunt gullet? i understand you're being all impressionistic here, but the sentences should at least make some kind of internal sense. only things i liked were "squid's beak" and, more importantly, "poona."
03/22/2005 anonymous: processing....
03/22/2005 qualcomm: thank you.
03/22/2005 qualcomm: ie, fu
03/22/2005 anonymous: first of all, the 'drunk' is a play on the word, he's not drunk-meaning-inebriated, but rather drunk like a glass of water is drunk. Imagine the narrator is in a glass from which someone is drinking him. Hence the 'but.' Get back to you about the singular/plural situation.
03/22/2005 anonymous: fu2
03/22/2005 qualcomm: ah, i see now.
03/22/2005 Phony Millions (4): Partytime, "Lilac Wine" is an old standard, and Jeff Buckley copped his version from Nina Simone - his version is great, but check out the source if you get a chance. Also Helen Merill's version. I like this one. I could see myself trying to write this. It reminds me of something from William Burroughs "Cities of the Red Night" except heterosexual.
03/23/2005 Ewan Snow (4):
03/23/2005 Dylan Danko (4):
03/23/2005 anonymous: God, this site sucks. You guys read this shit? Author, I hope you stub your toe. That's just my opinion.
03/23/2005 John Slocum: Ouch!!
03/23/2005 John Slocum: Well played, Slocum!
03/23/2005 Litcube: That's some description! Sentences ornately carved from whole blocks.
(This changes nothing, Slocum!)
03/24/2005 John Slocum: public belcher fuck.
03/24/2005 Litcube (4): I said nothing!
04/10/2005 John Slocum: PHONY! By the way, this was a Phony Hommage. I was so impressed with this one that I wanted to try my hand at your difficult-to-define style of slapping words together ('sweaty insanity,' as Snow put it). I don't think it was that successful, but I'm glad it got some good ratings.
04/10/2005 John Slocum: QUALCOMM! You requested an explanation for the change from first person singular to plural? Right? Are you ready for my explanation? Here's my explanation: it wasn't intentional. Truth is, I didn't really know about them before you asked; that is to say, I didn't really know what you were talking about and had to learn myself. Of course it's not a difficult concept. But nevertheless, it wasn't an intentional switch, seeing as how one would have to be aware of these things BEFORE using them.
However, in retrospect, now that I can speak truth to power, I would say that it was a brilliant touch, instinctively inspired. The POV change was like a nervous, jittery movie camera that keeps the viewer on edge, slightly annoyed and continually paying attention.