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William Faulkner downed the last of the bourbon and looked at the empty page in his typewriter.

"Let's see," he said, "First person, retarded..."

Date Written: March 05, 2003
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 4.3333

03/5/2003 anonymous (5):
03/5/2003 anonymous (1):
04/3/2003 Will Disney (5): i give it 5 stars
04/9/2003 Ewan Snow (5): Agreed. A perfect example of the form. Check plus.
05/1/2003 Will Disney (5): yeah i think this may be the best short on the site in terms of funniness per word
09/4/2003 Will Disney: wasn't "first person, retarded" going to be the title of feldspar's autobiography?
08/30/2004 TheBuyer (5): random idiot man-child humour.
08/30/2004 Mr. Pony: I don't understand this short's rating. Mathematically speaking, of course.
08/30/2004 Jon Matza: I'd say only one of Disney's 5s count, and someone else must've one starred it. (&tc'sn't me).
08/30/2004 Mr. Pony: what...is...that...word
08/30/2004 Jon Matza: wasn't (duh)
08/30/2004 Mr. Pony: holy fuck
08/30/2004 Litcube (5): That was retarded.
12/6/2004 scoop: I would have loved to have given this a five, but Qualcomm made such a big deal on his other Faulkner short about one five being as good as another five, and complicated stuff about things. I would say this in two stars less in terms of lustre/quality then Jacob/Truetree, give/take.
12/7/2004 TheBuyer: pussy