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Dave stood up in the middle of group and said, "Wait, this is all wrong."

"Listen to me for a second," he said, "Just take this in, please, don't dismiss this. Everyone has their quirk, everyone has their own way about them, there is no normal, we can all agree on that, right?"

Nods all around.

He moved clockwise behind their chairs and spoke in the strident tone of a news magazine sports-caster, "Peter just can't stop masturbating, right? So what? Peter, your problem isn't the compulsive need to masturbate it's about not loving your compulsive need to masturbate, also your ugly clothes is another problem, you should share more about that. Then there's Jason. Jason here thinks he needs some backbone but really, Alpha Males need Beta males, and Beta Males need Gammas and so on. Face it, Jaybob, you're like a Theta, maybe Upsilon. You couldn't even bag Margaret here and you've been stock-piling her favorite pills. No major loss though, she's so judgemental you'd probably still be crying a week later, you pussy. She actually snorted when Jeniffer told us all about her cousin and the 'incedent', but that's neither here nor there, none of this is here nor is it there," he said, pointing with karate-chop hands, "Not this group, not your self loathing, none of it."

He paused and then paused some more, "My point is this - I love you. I don't love you, I just like to talk. A lot. Mike is a fag." Dave sat down to a weak tinking two-clap from Hook-Hands-Gary, the good natured but confilcted luddite.

Jason raised his hand and said in his mousey little Arizona twang, "Dave is uh...a total fucking jerk?"

There was a chorus of agreement and whole hearted tinking. "He...well, he's an abrasive offensive asshole? I know we're supposed to embrace each other's bullshit like it's supposed to, like help? But, well, I'd really just like to kill Dave in his sleep? Like, bash him? I would really...man, I'm supposed to be the pensive agorophobic, heh...well, I guess that really has nothing to do with it, but still, god damnit I'd - just bash him."

Jason didn't kill Dave like he wanted to but the police sure thought he did, so did the state. Jason hated prison, everyone always talked about 'outside'; scared the hell out of him.

Date Written: March 31, 2005
Author: TheBuyer
Average Vote: 3.125

04/6/2005 Klause Muppet: I enjoyed "karate-chop hands"
04/6/2005 Klause Muppet (4):
04/6/2005 Ewan Snow (3):
04/6/2005 Mr. Pony (3): three point four or so.
04/6/2005 Klause Muppet: Wow, a lot of talk about this one.
04/6/2005 Klause Muppet: Good point Klause. No one seems to be commenting.
04/6/2005 anonymous: Ya, weird, I didn't think it was that bland when I wrote it.
04/6/2005 Klause Muppet: So, Author, do you run into many luddites?
04/6/2005 anonymous: Not with prosthetics, no.
04/6/2005 Klause Muppet: Oh... so uhm. Well. Do you like hockey?
04/6/2005 anonymous: Dude.
04/6/2005 Partytime (3): this are a confilcted incedent
I hated this on the first read, but liked it more on the second and third reads. The ending is unclear, even to my 20-10 eye. I'll rate it a 4 up to "Hook-Hands-Gary," and a 2 after that.
04/6/2005 Phony Millions (3): Laconically like everyone else.
04/6/2005 Litcube: I feel like we've seen the one freaky guy at a group session before.
04/6/2005 John Slocum (2):
04/6/2005 Litcube (3):
04/7/2005 TheBuyer: Litcube, I guess I was the only one who thought it was funny the other time too.
04/7/2005 qualcomm (4): i thought this was pretty good. and its tone was differenty. didn't get a chance to read it until now. also, i can hear litcube's 'doug' voice in the role of jason, even though he has no arizona twang.