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Little Elsie looked so pretty standing at the corner in her red dress it gave Tommy crickets in his gizzard. For some reason he couldn't reckon he felt an urge to run away. Then he remembered Aunt Myrtle's advice about just bein' himself...

Couple minutes later Tommy was forcibly prizing open Elsie's freckled lady-pouch with his weiner up in Old Man Cobb's hayloft. Jeepers, was this all there was to it? He must've had some kinda knack, too, cause he wasn't more'n 1/2 way in when he gooped. Tommy beamed with pride. Then he gooped again on her dress, cause something about the way it was tore looked fancy.

"I love you," said Tommy. He was going to marry her!

Date Written: May 20, 2005
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 4.55556

05/20/2005 TheBuyer (5): haaaahahahaha
05/20/2005 Mr. Pony (4): Yes, that's pretty good.
05/20/2005 The Rid: This is just gross. And funny.
05/20/2005 Turgid: I hope she signs a pre-nup.
05/20/2005 Front (5): yes!
05/20/2005 Jawbreaker (5): So funny!
05/20/2005 The Rid (5):
05/21/2005 TheBuyer: Good one, Jon Matza. Feel good?
05/21/2005 TheBuyer: Good one, Jon Matza. Feel good?
05/21/2005 John Slocum (3.5): Good one, Jon Matza. Feel good?
05/21/2005 Jon Matza: Sorry Buyer, but my consciousness has reached such a rarified echelon of understanding of late that concepts like "good" and "feel" no longer hold any meaning for me. Therefore, while I acknowledge your comment the words themselves are but a sprinkling of linguistic confetti, instantly forgotten and condemned to drift through the lonely void of nothingness for all eternity.
05/21/2005 qualcomm: wow, i was certain this was ewan snow
05/21/2005 Klause Muppet (5): My vocabulary is also confetti.
06/7/2005 scoop (4.5): Fancy.
07/16/2009 Dylan Danko (4): Don't think the last sentence was needed.
05/10/2011 Master Bates: Nice!