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Nice cunt fatty. But not nice enough. So I made hamburger of Hillary Clinton’s rosebud. Afterward she told me, “I used my check to get braces after Bill said my crooked teeths was whittlin’ on his cock. He knocked my teeths out anyways ‘cause onetime them wires hooked on his dickskin. That’s why I took to whorin’. I already had the mouth for it, and with the cig burns I couldn’t work in cosmetics no more.” “Yeah, that’s sure a story,” I told the bell-assed bisexual ashtray. “Now let’s set this thing up.” She said, “I done some sick shit but this is the worst.” I told her, “Honey, lots of girls have drunk a Runny Belgian.” I handed her my colostomy bag and lovingly held my hands over hers as we squeezed the viscous septic mud into the hollowed-out watermelon. Then I had her hold my dick while I pissed in a shaky geriatric stream. Together, we poured in the Ziploc of spoiled menstrual blood. Then I hacked up a lemon-lime clump from my tuberculine lungs. “You get it with a twist ,” I told her. Her soft clam eyes looked at me as she dry-heaved. “It’s …huuuuh…huuh…hulaaah…I can’t.” I said, “Don’t you understand? Look at me! Pestilent and near death. Existence is a circle. The basest act is really the sunrise of idealism and perfection. Purity though bottom-feeding. Life is unity! Yes, the pinnacle is the pit!! We are all from the black!!!” I reached my pussey, lesioned hands into the vile, life-giving stew and stirred with a clawing dog-paddle. I was so near to the womb. Soon, Hillary was drinking straight from the watermelon trough. As she writhed and wretched like a warfarin poisoned dog, I barraged her with increasingly rapturous urgings. True to form, she repeatedly guzzled and vomited until we could see the pale green of the rind.

Date Written: June 12, 2005
Author: Partytime
Average Vote: 4.125

06/16/2005 Will Disney (3.5): Is this any way to treat the 2008 frontrunner for PREZIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES? 'Don't you understand?' paragraph was a pleasure to read. "The basest act is really the sunrise of idealism and perfection." - that can be an alternate Acme motto.
06/16/2005 Will Disney: I woulda given then 3.75 if that had been available.
06/16/2005 Will Disney: Author: please explain title.
06/16/2005 Kenji X: Tuberculine lungs. A winner.
06/16/2005 The Rid: Just wretched. Good idea, good execution. Can't decide on 3.5 or 4, as I might throw up. If that's the point, congrats, author, you succeeded!
06/16/2005 Mr. Pony: What the crap...?
06/16/2005 Mr. Pony (4): Okay. I can certainly appreciate this short's brute force approach to being horrible. Holds up on multiple readings.
06/16/2005 The Rid (4):
06/16/2005 TheBuyer (4.5): Ya, this is completely fucking rank, FU.
06/17/2005 TheBuyer: Ha! Partytime, excellent!
06/17/2005 Mr. Pony: holy fucking crap, J; we was jes' talking about you!!!
06/17/2005 qualcomm (4): i think this woulda been more fun without the clinton angle
06/17/2005 John Slocum (5): I think this was fun no matter what the angle.
06/17/2005 Jon Matza: Welcome back, Partytime! Right, Pony?
06/17/2005 Mr. Pony: What?
06/17/2005 TheBuyer: He said WELCOME BACK, PARTYTIME, are you DEAF/BLIND??
06/17/2005 Klause Muppet (4):
06/17/2005 Templeton Dink (4): Mrs. Clinton is a very poor choice, your short would have been better served by a fictional character with less impressive calves and ankles.