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OHHHHHHH baby, your long, droopy nipples are like my mother’s outie belly button. I’d do little tongue twirls on that bad boy, too. Make a Cheerio sized hole with my thumb and finger and hold it by its base. If I stimulated just right it would stand on its own. It’d be like a little boner. I'd suck on it so hard I’d get the sexiest headache. I breast fed until I was nine-years old. Fucking so sweet! I’d squirt some chocolate sauce in my mouth and, and, and get a slug and some pop candy and swish it in my mouth. Ummmmm so goooood. Then I'd french her. Like that? That's brautwurst. You like that don’t you, you fucking little slut? That's rhetorical. Did you breast feed? Wait don’t answer that. I’m in the zone. Ummmm your bark dry honey-hole reminds me of my mom’s crusty appendicitis wound. I’d jab my pudgy fingers in that too. You. Are. So. Freaking. Hot. Oh, shit your asshole tastes like my mom’s 9-volt batteries. She kept them in her hearing aid. When she was sleeping I’d take them out and lick them just like a fucking pussy. Oh Yeah! You like that. That’s not a question, that’s a statement baby. When she woke up I’d tell her how hot I thought she was. But she couldn’t hear me. Sweet nothings, baby.... You have the foxiest low self-esteem, baby. My mom’s self-esteem really blew too. After dad left she was all like, “I neeeeed bon-bons. I neeeeed bigger clothes. I neeeed a man for vagidation.” But she didn’t need that. She had me. My mom’s the best. Can I put it in now, or what?

Date Written: June 26, 2005
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 4.45

Comments:
06/29/2005 Will Disney (5): a tour de force, with many gross laugh-out-loud lines.
06/29/2005 qualcomm (4):
06/29/2005 Jon Matza (4.5): The awughthir's generosity of spirit here is infectious & the hearing aid bit was high-10s.
06/29/2005 TheBuyer (4.5): I'm gonna use this - get a slug and some pop candy and swish it in my mouth.
06/29/2005 Mr. Pony (4):
06/29/2005 Klause Muppet (4.5):
06/29/2005 Mr. Joshua (4): J-Dog squirmed uncomfortably while reading this. Hit a little too close to home.
06/29/2005 Moe-Ron (4.5): I thought the same thing Mr. Joshua....a little too close to home....
06/29/2005 Will Disney: I thought the same thing about you, moe-ron, when I read this!
06/29/2005 Mr. Pony: I didn't relate to this at all! You guys are totally sick!
06/29/2005 TheBuyer: Dude, it sucks that your mom isn't as hot as our moms.
06/30/2005 John Slocum (4.5): It's all this guy. Terrific zone. Another great inner logical life. People are just making sense.
06/30/2005 Dylan Danko (5):