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OHHHHHHH baby, your long, droopy nipples are like my motherís outie belly button. Iíd do little tongue twirls on that bad boy, too. Make a Cheerio sized hole with my thumb and finger and hold it by its base. If I stimulated just right it would stand on its own. Itíd be like a little boner. I'd suck on it so hard Iíd get the sexiest headache. I breast fed until I was nine-years old. Fucking so sweet! Iíd squirt some chocolate sauce in my mouth and, and, and get a slug and some pop candy and swish it in my mouth. Ummmmm so goooood. Then I'd french her. Like that? That's brautwurst. You like that donít you, you fucking little slut? That's rhetorical. Did you breast feed? Wait donít answer that. Iím in the zone. Ummmm your bark dry honey-hole reminds me of my momís crusty appendicitis wound. Iíd jab my pudgy fingers in that too. You. Are. So. Freaking. Hot. Oh, shit your asshole tastes like my momís 9-volt batteries. She kept them in her hearing aid. When she was sleeping Iíd take them out and lick them just like a fucking pussy. Oh Yeah! You like that. Thatís not a question, thatís a statement baby. When she woke up Iíd tell her how hot I thought she was. But she couldnít hear me. Sweet nothings, baby.... You have the foxiest low self-esteem, baby. My momís self-esteem really blew too. After dad left she was all like, ďI neeeeed bon-bons. I neeeeed bigger clothes. I neeeed a man for vagidation.Ē But she didnít need that. She had me. My momís the best. Can I put it in now, or what?

Date Written: June 26, 2005
Author: scoop
Average Vote: 4.45

06/29/2005 Will Disney (5): a tour de force, with many gross laugh-out-loud lines.
06/29/2005 qualcomm (4):
06/29/2005 Jon Matza (4.5): The awughthir's generosity of spirit here is infectious & the hearing aid bit was high-10s.
06/29/2005 TheBuyer (4.5): I'm gonna use this - get a slug and some pop candy and swish it in my mouth.
06/29/2005 Mr. Pony (4):
06/29/2005 Klause Muppet (4.5):
06/29/2005 Mr. Joshua (4): J-Dog squirmed uncomfortably while reading this. Hit a little too close to home.
06/29/2005 Moe-Ron (4.5): I thought the same thing Mr. Joshua....a little too close to home....
06/29/2005 Will Disney: I thought the same thing about you, moe-ron, when I read this!
06/29/2005 Mr. Pony: I didn't relate to this at all! You guys are totally sick!
06/29/2005 TheBuyer: Dude, it sucks that your mom isn't as hot as our moms.
06/30/2005 John Slocum (4.5): It's all this guy. Terrific zone. Another great inner logical life. People are just making sense.
06/30/2005 Dylan Danko (5):