home authors guest shorts graphical shorts
AcmeShorts
Sting folded his arms, tucked his chin against his chest, and smoldered at you from beneath his brow.
Then he lifted his arm and pumped his fist in a manner that Billy Idol had already exhausted years before.
“Eeeyooooooo, eeeyaaaaaaaay, eeeyaayo,” he said.
Date Written: July 03, 2005
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 2.9
Comments:
07/8/2005 Will Disney: blissfully short!
07/8/2005 TheBuyer: I'm laughing...maybe it's just really early in the morning or something.
07/8/2005 Jon Matza (3.5): Sound as far as it went, esp last line.
07/8/2005 Mr. Pony: This short is not as funny as it claims to be, which is, in and of itself, funny. How I hate you, author; for putting me in this position!
07/8/2005 Litcube (3.5): Sometimes I laugh out loud, not because it's funny, but because I can imagine most things retarded with considerable proficiency. And I’m thinking, “boy, that’s retarded.” And then I’m laughing because of it.
07/8/2005 Turgid: Why is Sting pissed at me? What did I do?
07/8/2005 scoop (0.5): If you're going to write a short relying on a celebrity, you need to bring more to the table than a cursory description of the celebrity doing whatever it is he does. If that was funny, then it would be real easy being funny. We could have a whole site dedicated to such thinly drawn characters, and we could call it acme celebrity shorts, and it would suck. The celebrity short has been done here to both humorous effect and surprising insight with Pacino, Poitier, Connery, and others, I think. But in all those cases we were given a glimpse of a weird inner-life culled by the author's interpretation of what the celebrity does. Sometimes an interpretatioin drawn on what the public has constructed out of the celebrities' preceived image. In this case you, that's right you author, are nothing more than a scumbag journalist taking notes at some charity event and posting them as something worthy of our digestion. Journalists are terrible, terrible creatures. Where is the "You" in this? It is nowhere to be found. Trust me I looked! All that could be seen was the wind upon the water. You are a jerk for doing this. A real turkey. Any asshole can observe what Sting does. But what you needed to do was illustrate what's rattling around in his pointy, blonde head. You failed, for all times.
07/8/2005 qualcomm (4): scoop, everyone knows this is you. and it's not that bad!
07/12/2005 Dylan Danko (2):
03/9/2011 Marvin The Word Underscore Bernstein (5): A half-star from scoop seems a little harsh and unnecessarily malevolent here. I don't think the joke is worthy of this wonderful array of stars, but let's burn off some of the heat and see if we can't start having a little fun again. I mean it's Sting doing “Eeeyooooooo, eeeyaaaaaaaay, eeeyaayo" thing. Philosophy isn't all about wisdom, scoop, it's also about the love. Anger isn't proof that you're more serious than everyone else in the room; it just means you aren't having as good a time.