home authors guest shorts graphical shorts

AcmeShorts

When I left the life behind and entered witness protection, I gave up more than money. I mean, sure, I miss that, but there was so much more to it. We were like movie stars with muscle. Everything was ours for the taking. I had it all! Whenever my Maltese was sick, I could get free treatment. If any of the veterinarians complained, believe me, we hit them so hard they never complained again. If I wanted something (like passes to sample sales at Saks or Macy's) I just took it! One time? One time, some of the guys from the neighborhood took me on a field trip to Amish country. You know why? It was out of respect.

Date Written: August 03, 2005
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote:

Comments:
08/3/2005 Dick Vomit: Goodshoppers?
08/3/2005 Dick Vomit: Salesfellas?
08/3/2005 Mr. Pony: Heh.
08/3/2005 Dick Vomit: Sex & The chook-chook to the gut with a knife in the back a my fuckin' El Dorado you fuckin' faggit City?
08/3/2005 Dick Vomit: Eliza: omnia vincit phallus
08/3/2005 Eliza (): Is that okay with you?
08/3/2005 Dick Vomit: Eliza: gorillas could do my job. I am dissatisfied.
08/3/2005 Eliza (): What does that suggest to you?
08/3/2005 Kenji X: Eliza: Do have any questions at this point?
08/3/2005 Eliza (): What does that suggest to you?
08/3/2005 Kenji X: Eliza: I thought you might. It suggests you're not really understanding what I'm saying. Are you having trouble comprehending Klingon?
08/3/2005 Eliza (): What is it that you really want to know?
08/3/2005 Kenji X: Eliza: Don't test me, woman, I'm not in the mood for games. I see you laughing, do you think this is funny?
08/3/2005 Eliza (): What does that suggest to you?
08/3/2005 Kenji X: Eliza: It sounds like you're toying with me. Is this because of my performance issues last night?
08/3/2005 Eliza (): What other reasons might there be?
08/3/2005 Kenji X: You hateful bitch.