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Thornton took his last gasp. Around him were doctors and the operating room. He felt his body floating up to the top of the room, looking down on himself. He saw a white tunnel of light in front of him. There was a figure at the other end. “I’m ready to go!” Thornton said. Just then, Charles Darwin appeared in the tunnel. “Hello, I’m Charles Darwin. In life, you believed in heaven and an afterlife. However, I am a manifestation created by your own dying brain to carry the message that there is no heaven, death is final, and you’ve really been wasting your time and causing some harm by being religious. And this tunnel you’re seeing is just a photoelectric effect caused by dying neurons in your visual cortex.” “Just thought you’d like to know.”

Date Written: August 07, 2005
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 4.2

08/8/2005 The Rid: Eh.
08/8/2005 Will Disney: But wait, this isn't true, correct?
08/8/2005 anonymous: Do you want to talk to Turgid? Turgid is not here right now, mother.
08/8/2005 Dick Vomit (4): Hey. I'm on board with this. Don't agree? Tough darts!
08/8/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (3.5): Darwin certainly has a refreshingly modern knowledge of photo-neurology.
08/8/2005 anonymous: Smug? H'auteur?
08/8/2005 scoop: Everyone knows eveoluiton is just a theory and can't explain everything, right?
08/8/2005 Dick Vomit: Totally.
08/8/2005 TheBuyer: Evolution can fuck right off, I want a tail.
08/8/2005 Ewan Snow (5): fucking religious assholes!
08/8/2005 TheBuyer (4): You are so going to burn for that.
08/8/2005 Mr. Pony: I'm guessing that it was Thornton's religion that caused him to completely misunderstand the nature of the photoelectric effect. Or maybe, like, there's a metal plate is his head and he understands it just fine!
08/8/2005 scoop: If you would check your various science manuals Pony you'll see that nowhere does evolution account for the photoelectric effect. Or I guess an amoeba just grew legs, crawled out of the primordial soup and then magically "evolved" into a photoelectric effect.
08/8/2005 anonymous: http://ummah.com/ifsa/pages/section2/god.htm
08/8/2005 Mr. Pony: scoop: It's funny, but in a way, that is what happened!
08/26/2010 The Rid (4.5): I think I was wrong before on two counts: 1) For "Eh," and 2) For not voting.