home authors guest shorts graphical shorts


I found the woman - the woman from the cover of the National Geographic. She was a refugee in a refugee camp and I was a backpacker from a good country. I was young and thought that spending time in a refugee camp was a life experience I "needed", even though I hate things in quotes. I wasn't looking for her exactly, but there she was all the same. So I found her and she was remarkable. She was squatting over the water, having a difficult shit which was amazing because everyone else in the camp seemed to have the opposite problem from the amoebic dysentery. She was grunting and cussing and reaching back and poking up into her asshole with a stick, her fierce green eyes shone like squinty emeralds, angry and determined. That was how I found her, the girl from the National Geographic magazine. Her husband and children and home and whole existance were absoluelty disgusting. The smell of feces was everywhere and it mixed with the smell of untreated infections and rotting rice; that was the worst part. They ate nothing but rat-chewed CARE rice from the holds of unclean cargo ships and she prepared it lovingly once a day if they were lucky. God she was beautiful. Her tattered rags and scarred forearms shimmered with heavenly light. When she spat a dusty black gob into the fire in their home I shivered and saw the cover of that National Geographic magazine in my mind's eye. Should I offer to marry, or adopt her, I wondered. In the end she died. It was a refugee camp, a digusting pit of filthy Arabs disposessed from other camps, washing their asses in their drinking water, blowing snot into the cooking fire and on anyone near it, and every one of them died. Her eyes though...her amazing eyes filled me with urge to pound her whored and violated pussy and beat the shit out of her in a traditional refugee camp courtship raping. Then I would raise her face and tell her everything will be okay. But she was a refugee and filthy and I don't fuck sewage so I left her as I found her, struggling with a rock-hard piece of shit, the same one for all I know, grunting and twisting in the muck.

Date Written: August 25, 2005
Author: TheBuyer
Average Vote: 2.25

08/26/2005 Kenji X: Dude, I saw Boyd Matson curb this bitch on Nat. Geo. network last Sunday. Kewl.
08/26/2005 The Rid (2.5): So the woman is beautiful, but the reality is much different from the two magazine covers, and the narrator's an asshole. Oh, what a crazy, mixed up world we live in!
08/26/2005 qualcomm (3.5):
08/26/2005 Ewan Snow (2): okay idea gone very wrong
08/26/2005 Mr. Pony (3):
08/26/2005 TheBuyer: It's pretty flat but I like, "I don't fuck sewage".
08/26/2005 TheBuyer:

Let's get sued!
08/26/2005 Cyrus: she looks kinda pissed at the world actually. Hot!!
08/26/2005 Mr. Pony: I bet you she's going to be real cross when she reads this.
08/31/2005 Jon Matza (1.5): ["To me this seems like a exhausting & witless attempt to be offensive/edgy. If I came across this on another site I'd instantly assume that site sucked/wasn't worth further examination", Matza considers commenting]
08/31/2005 Hitler (0.5): I had never read this before, and now wish I hadn't. I'm not sure what the point is. For some reason the author has decided to turn his wrath on a young woman from the poorest nation on earth, pointing out obvious shitty things about living on the poorest country on earth. Moreover, he does so in a way that doesn't seem very educated about the circumstances of this young woman. (She's an Afghan not an Arab.) Yes, life in the poorest country on Earth is disgusting. Why is this, in and of itself, funny? It's not. It's a jerk talking about wanting to fuck a poor lady with nothing imaginative or funny to add to the proceeding. Ugh. Why is this unrealistic first-person voice funny? This is like finding the most retarded retard from Special Ed class in High School and pointing him out for ridicule every day. It's just mean-spirited for its own sake, a juvenile strain of emotioal exploitation. I'm surprised at the threes here from qc and pony. I just don't see anything good about this. I'm with Matza. If I read this on another site I would dismiss it as wantonly transgressive garbage.
08/31/2005 scoop (0.5): Yeah. Matza and Hitler are right about this one. Yikes. One of the worst shorts ever, IMHO.
09/1/2005 Reverso! (4.5): I loved it!
09/1/2005 qualcomm: hey thebuyer... can you tell us what you had in mind with this short, if you have a moment?
09/1/2005 TheBuyer: I ripped that cover off that issue when it came out and hung on to it for years so I could jack off to her. This went on through the eighties and early nineties and I was a teenager and a virgin and I loved her. In fact, if you asked me to rank award winning/notable photos for the last 25 years, that cover of the National Geographic would easily be my #1 selection; not just for jerking off, I mean, this was THE face of war, famine, hardship, loss, charity, LiveAid, peace, occupation, and humanity. So they found her a few years ago and wrecked it, fuckers. Wrecked it good, they did. Now, I'm not saying any of this makes the short any better per se but I stand by it, I thought it was funny pretty. I'm NOT edgy or *cool* or subversive or trying to be anything that I'm not, I just thought it was enough of an icon to make fun of. I can explain more things if you like, I'm not entirely sure what to say or if I should even defend this short.
09/1/2005 The Fonch: Stomach Foot here, TheBuyer knows she's not an Arab, he has done his homework. ass hole.