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We were twenty minutes out from the Sentari System when Lola started in. “Why won’t my fucking hair dryer plug in to this thing?” She bluntly jabbed the 120 volt terrestrial plug on her hair dryer into one of the ship’s 2120 volt power couplings. “You act like you’ve never been in deep space,” I said and tossed her an adapter. Later on the mess deck, she sat there as if she expected table service. Everyone went up to get rations at the rations bar and she looked like a lost little earthling. “Believe me, I’ve been in deep space plenty of times,” Lola said. “I guess I’m just used to a level of class I can’t expect from your ship.” And every day for the next 213 days it took to get from Sentari to Polybius IV in a Variant D Research Nodule at 7.8Gzg, Lola bitched and whined about one thing or another. “Finally, this fucking trip is over,” Lola said as we approach Landing Pad DRG-3. “I can’t wait to get on the dock and get the decontamination spray. When that nozzle hits my ass, it makes me cum.” “Charming to the last.” I gave her a firm shove down the gang plank. What she didn’t know is that Variant DR Landing Pads don’t support the the hydro-mechanical decontamination spray. Here they clean out your ass with the voracious banana worms from Tartus IV.

Date Written: September 11, 2005
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 3.1

09/12/2005 Will Disney: I enjoy a Short like this from time to time. Not jokey but a good sketch of some crappy alternate world. Also, f u, qualcomm.
09/12/2005 qualcomm (2.5): this short is kind of butcan
09/12/2005 Ewan Snow (4): Doesn't "buttcan" have two Ts? Agree with Disney on this one. Not haha, but a cute sketch of a boring future.
09/12/2005 Litcube: Centauri? Research Module?
09/12/2005 The Rid (4.5): It might be one-note, but it was effing good one-note.
09/12/2005 qualcomm: butcan
09/12/2005 Klause Muppet (4): The last 2 graphs take this short from "sci-fi reference short" to "anal hah hah short". It looks like it's going to rain here.
09/12/2005 anonymous: Litcube: No, "Sentari" and "Nodule".
09/12/2005 Mr. Pony (2.5): I liked some things okay, but I don't think this short was helped by its meandering meandering.
09/12/2005 Litcube: Maundering?
09/12/2005 Jon Matza: I think this'd've been sirloiner if the awethor'd shelved the none-too-surprising comeuppance and just provided his riedours with a sequence of Lola's spoilt behaviour episodes. Sci-fi jargon was well-flogulated.
09/12/2005 Daphne: Important Question: Are the banana worms reclaimed when they've done their job, or are they a one-use beast, like those Star Trek Earwiggers?
09/12/2005 itasta090: Sci-fi just isn't funny to me. Nice detail, though.
09/20/2005 TREE (2):