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  1. And lo, the centurion did doubt the King of Kings, and laid invectives and calumny upon him, saying unto his followers, Go ye back to your farms and shops, return unto your families, for it is a false prophet you follow, and a spreader of deceit and sedition.
  2. And Jesus was brought before the centurion, and was made to kneel in the dust of the earth.
  3. Then said the centurion unto him, Are you the son of God?
  4. And the Lord answereth him, and saith, Verily, I am the son of man. And he stood up, and laid his hand upon the centurion's ear, wherefrom he tooketh a penny. This he repeated thrice.
  5. And the centurion's guards did back away, for a great fear rose up in their breasts when they witnessed this. And Jesus did clear a space amongst them.
  6. Whereupon did Jesus part his lips and expel the end of a scarlet ribband, which he grasped between his thumb and index finger. And the centurion was heard to remark, Observe! He pulleth at the ribband and it cometh and cometh, yay, without end!

Date Written: September 17, 2005
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 4.625

09/21/2005 Ewan Snow (4): Even though this is a really dumb joke, and even though it goes through a great deal of effort to make it, I have to say I like this one. If the site supported half stars, I'd probably give this a 3.5, but considering there is no such feature, I guess I'll drop a 4 on this fucker.
09/21/2005 Jon Matza: This is about Disney, right?
09/21/2005 Will Disney (4.5): what did he do next?
09/21/2005 TheBuyer (5): peace be with you
09/21/2005 Klause Muppet (5): This is good on so many levels.
09/21/2005 Litcube (5): Aa ha ha! The most unique short of this quarter.
09/21/2005 Dylan Danko (4.5): I agree with Snow. I imagine Woody Allen in the part of Christ mincing about like he does in Love and Death. But I laughed.
09/22/2005 John Slocum (4.5): Hey dude! Nice short! (!) (xb)
09/22/2005 Mr. Pony (4):
09/22/2005 Dick Vomit: Unique is an unmodifiable adjective.
09/22/2005 Mr. Pony: Then what good is it?
09/22/2005 Jon Matza: Use of red text was a savory gambit.
09/28/2005 TheBuyer: This may be my new favorite short. Thank you qualcomm, for saving Acmeshorts.
09/28/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (5): I'd give this a 6 if I could. Wait, with a little creative client side hax0ring...
04/18/2006 scoop (4.5): Ribband.
04/18/2006 Master Bates (5):
04/25/2006 Mr. Pony: If this site supported double-voting, I'd probably give this another four.
03/3/2011 Mr. Pony: I still really like this.
03/4/2011 Jon Matza: Hey Pony- why don't you marry it?
03/4/2011 Marvin The Word Underscore Bernstein (4.5): Yeah, Pony. File divorce papers from Iron Man and marry this short already. I hope you didn't sign a pre-nup. cuz after those two movies Tony Stark is worth a mega-fortune.