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“This marriage is going great, honey. I love fucking you.”
“I love fucking you too. I’m glad you’re my husband and that you want to fuck me all the time.”
“Me too. Also, the companionship is really rocking.”
“Totally! I feel like we totally click. We should renew our vows.”
“Yes, I was thinking the same thing. Only…”
“Only what, poodle?”
“Only, I was thinking that instead of merely renewing them, let’s make an addendum to the agreement. Let’s add all sorts of other commitments and obligations.”
“Like what?”
“Like, I have to lick your pussy once a day and you have to pee with the bathroom door open and your legs spread wide.”
“And you have to fuck guys sometimes, but you promise never to come home with an ass full of semen, unless I get first licks.”
“Totally! It’s gotta be ironclad, though. We should get a lawyer to draft the terms and sign the contract right up at the podium.”
"We'll be legally obligated."
"We'll have even less choice in our fucking!"
“Oh fuck, that’s hot, I’m gonna wet my panties just planning this!”
“Let’s fuck!”
“Totally!"
Date Written: September 19, 2005
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 4.16667
Comments:
09/27/2005 Dick Vomit (4): Ooh, oh. I tape recorded my parents. Big whoop, you unoriginal cunt.
09/27/2005 Klause Muppet (4): “Only what, poodle?”
09/27/2005 Will Disney: enjoyable, gross.
09/27/2005 qualcomm: this touches on some of the domestic foiblery so tenderly explored in pete townshend's 1982 gem, slit skirts.
09/27/2005 TheBuyer (4.5): Stay out of my inbox.
09/28/2005 John Slocum: Snow-diddy,
I feel there are some logical flaws here. Specifically, it doesn't sound like our married couple is heading for less choice in their fucking, so (if i'm right), why the line: "We'll have even less choice in our fucking!" How does the guy being able to fuck other guys, and all the other things they're getting excited about, mean they'll have less choice in their fucking!!!??????!!#$%??? I expect an answer after bath time.
Slocum
09/28/2005 qualcomm: he means they'll have no choice but to fuck, because the law will require it.
09/28/2005 Ewan Snow: Yeah, it's not that he gets to fuck other guys, it's that he HAS to fuck other guys. The idea is sort of a combination of the concept of marriage and how weirdly contractual (and legally binding) it is, and the idea of older person/long-term relationship sex, which tends to become more highly specialized. In other words, the sex acts described in the short are already the status quo in their relationship. Because of their rutty nature, they are already required in a sense by force of fetishy habit, so why not make it official?!
09/28/2005 Dick Vomit: Dude, R.I.F., Slocum! Reading is fundamental! Context clues! balls!
08/13/2011 Ewan Snow: This is good if I do say so.