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I have notions about myself which you may find ridiculous, but I don’t think you should dismiss them out of hand. For instance, my spontaneity is personality-critical for me. I just stand up and go for it. That’s who I am and how I see myself. Now you may notice me sitting around in my underwear watching daytime TV, but what you see is but the shadow of my spirit which can be crudely projected against this dull apartment of yours. I exist on a higher plane, and you shouldn’t just assume, because I drank the last of your beer, that I’m some kind of beer drinking guy who just mopes around. I recall my childhood, and still dream of a late night drive down the strip of some three point five horse town. I’m curled up in the back seat as it starts to rain, watching the reflection of a yellow neon sign race across a wet black windshield. Tail lights bleared across the sky. Street lamps looming to the horizon. There is a humanity in all of this. A lost innocence which has no place in the same conversation as a discussion of what happened to your stamp collection or did I mail some letters. And that’s why I’ve come to you with my decision. I have decided to become god. Not God with a capital G, that’s absurd. Although, I should point out, not just a god, but “god”, singular, the only god. That’s right, I am going to become the one and only god, but with a lower case g and I’m keeping my maiden name, at least for paperwork. But I need your support on this. I know you wanted to ask me about the clogged toilet and the turd in the sink, but now is a time for quiet revelation. Where moonbeams dare dance a distant poignancy. Here walks a brutal soldier, deemed wise enough to encamp the night. And there among the padded way strides a prophet, whose bold predictions describe my greatness. And it is written, or will be, if you let me log on to your laptop.

Date Written: September 26, 2005
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 4.5

09/28/2005 qualcomm (4): i think this should have ended with graf 1
09/28/2005 Will Disney: i agree, qc.
09/28/2005 Klause Muppet: i agree, wd
09/28/2005 Ewan Snow (5): Love the last graf.
09/28/2005 Klause Muppet (4): Love the first graf.
09/28/2005 John Slocum (5): This is ripe.
09/30/2005 John Slocum: I loved the latter half of the second paragraph. The 'god' part lost a little steam and the turd part didn't quite fit (for this guy) with the less scatalogical ground touchings. Snow(Slocum addresses Snow directly): you used bad judgement with the turd. But 'maiden name' launched the short forward again and it reached a screaming crescendo with the jolting use of laptop (and the cruc 'white' use of 'log' was terrific) following the previous several sentences starting with 'quiet revelation.' Thank you.
02/18/2013 Jon Matza (5):
02/20/2013 Mr. Joshua (4.5): I'm gonna split the difference between qc and the 'lith.