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Pascal Devonshire fantasized about taking a radial saw to his skull and making a clean cut around the circumference, lifting off the dome of his pate, and then, with the aid of a mirror, scooping out his brains with a grapefruit spoon and eating them. Dr. Kleebow was not likely to understand this fantasy however. He’d probably spend the whole therapy session on it and Pascal, though he had set up the session especially to discuss it, no longer had any interest.

“So tell me, what is this fantasy of yours that you mentioned on the phone,” Kleebow said, adjusting his not-well-wiped ass into the plush ultra-suede armchair.

Pascal struggled to come up with some more benign fantasy to present to the doctor. “I want to take a radial saw to your skull and make a clean cut around the circumference, lifting off the dome of your pate and then scoop out your brains with a grapefruit spoon and eating them.”

Dr. Kleebow pressed a little red button under the table and a moment later a detachment of men in white suits burst through the door. “Bring Mr. Devonshire to the torture chamber,” he said, pulling his ass cheeks unstuck with some effort.

That night Mrs. Kleebow made a gluey macaroni casserole, which pissed the doctor off because it had so many carbs. He dropped his pants at the dinner table and, scooping out a pile of the stuff with a serving spoon, spackled up the crack of his ass.

The next day, Mrs. Kleebow played bridge with her friends, but when it was her turn to bid, she barfed all over Patsy Cunningham, who later, without time to clean herself off, went to the motel where she routinely fucked Pascal Devonshire. He didn’t show up.

Date Written: April 07, 2003
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 4.875

04/7/2003 anonymous (5):
04/7/2003 anonymous (5):
03/28/2004 scoop (5): This is great. I would vote on it infinitely to make-up for all of the non-votes, but that would make me a hypocrite, and less importatntly, it would just be silly. This took me on what my little sister would call "a real bare's advenchr."
04/13/2004 John Slocum (5): Rest assured, Scoop, by the process of diffusion, or maybe it's osmosis, or radio-tagging isotopes of iodine...well, whatever the process is, this short will eventually be 5 starred by everyone in the universe. It certainly deserves it.
04/13/2004 Dylan Danko (4): I can't be bothered to read the short but Scoop's little sister is hot so... at least 4 stars!
04/15/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (5):
12/10/2004 anonymous: Hey, TREE, you dummy! I'm over here!
12/10/2004 TREE (5): Hey! This is pretty f'n good. Thanks for showing me around.
12/10/2004 TheBuyer (5): I love these strange, hyperactive Snow paragraphs.
02/1/2005 Cyrus (5): Strangely familiar.