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There's a lot more to being a pimp than peddling pussy and roughing up deadbeat johns. Let me give you a for instance. This little piece of runaway poon comes into my "office" and says she wants to get into the business. Now I've seen my share of dynamite snatch, but this girl is fucking prime: can't be a day over 20, perfect skin, not-too-big tits, solid ass. You get the picture. Class. "Take off your clothes," I say, you know, because I always give new meat a full inspection. "Here?" I look at my watch to let her know time is money. So she's naked, and I wouldn't lie to you, but she's even better than I thought. Not a scratch on her. Virginal. Next thing I know, she's on her knees unzipping my fly, pulling my dork out, and I'm a fucking rock. So I fuck her throat and make her eat my milt, right? Am I right? Wrong. Wrong! You never get high on your own supply. Never. I take her hand and help her to her feet. "Thank you, that will be all," I say, turning my back and giving my ficus plant a couple of spritzes. I'm so mortified, I can't even bring myself to look at her. "You can see yourself out. We'll be in touch." Listen, there's nothing I'd like better than to bust one in her mouth, but rules are rules. I mean, I'm sure you'd love to get off vicariously on the big bad pimp's depraved, exploitative lifestyle, but the truth is a little more complicated than what you see at the local cineplex. No, I'm really sorry to disappoint you, but I just don't run that kind of "office."

Date Written: November 16, 2005
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 4.65

11/16/2005 Klause Muppet: Class act! A good read. 4 stars! Maybe more.
11/16/2005 Will Disney (5):
11/16/2005 Dylan Danko (5): A couple more of these and acme's back in business. Chop, chop, lads.
11/16/2005 cuntry (4.5): dynamite open and close. however, holding this fine piece to its high standards, i felt it could have been a bit tighter in the middle.
11/16/2005 Mr. Pony (4.5): Even though it would be wrong to give this short an extra half star for rising out of the void and yanking us back from oblivion, I'm going to do it anyway. And I'll tell you another thing; I'm going to accept the consequences standing up.
11/16/2005 anonymous: you shouldn't do that
11/16/2005 Dick Vomit: There's a little bit of New Short Frenzy going on. Is this really a five, people? SHAME.
11/16/2005 anonymous: yeah, i agree. the mr. harvey adventure was way better than this. ass holes.
11/16/2005 Mr. Pony: I agree, and I accept the consequences of my actions standing up.
11/16/2005 Litcube (4.5): Here is my opinion of this short: this is a very solid short. I like when the pimp says "you never get high on your own supply". When the pimp said that, I laughed.
11/16/2005 Jimson S. Sorghum (5): Yep.
11/17/2005 John Slocum (4.5):
12/9/2005 scoop (4.5): Hey not half-bad, QC. Not half-bad.
10/22/2006 Master Bates (4.5):
07/7/2007 Lady Pissant (4.5): How well I remember that day, qualcom...seems like only yesterday. Good times! ;p
09/8/2010 Marvin_Bernstein: morals? Here? shameful sir