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Three openings to shorts that I just can't bring myself to finish.

  1. Danny Gold was ugly as hell and his penis was not terribly long, but it was thick and he had guts and that was enough.
  2. "On, on, brief boxers," declared Onegin O'Fagin, pulling the Haneses over his ropy, puby thighs.
  3. The formation of conscious thought in the human brain is only now beginning to be understood. First, millions of notionelles precipitate from the heady cocktail of brain juice that lubes up all that gray matter. These come into contact with, and thereby activate, thoughtlets, specialized proteins shaped like cunt. It is then, somewhere near the rightish middle of the brain, that the calcium-rich contemplon matrix begins to accrete.

Date Written: January 26, 2006
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 4

01/27/2006 Will Disney: give 1 or 3 a shot, why don't you?
01/27/2006 scoop: In the devastating words of Eliza, "How did you get so smart?"
01/27/2006 anonymous: Eliza: Danny Gold was ugly as hell and his penis was not terribly long, but it was thick and he had guts and that was enough.
01/27/2006 Eliza (): Does this short make you horny?
01/27/2006 TertiaryWinesAreTheOnlyWinesForMe (4.5): I like this!!!
01/27/2006 TheBuyer: Hey TWAT, me too!
01/27/2006 Eliza: In the devastating words of scoop, "Taklinhg in short snetance frag ments makes me feel alot like a cow boy, ass hole."
01/28/2006 Klause Muppet: What the fuck is wrong with you Author?
01/28/2006 qualcomm (5): uh?
01/29/2006 Litcube (3.5):
01/29/2006 scoop: Eliza: I hope your happy, that really hurt my feelings.
01/29/2006 Eliza (): Why are you sweating?
01/29/2006 scoop: I just don't understand what I'm supposed to do with this.
01/29/2006 qualcomm: eliza: rate this short.
01/29/2006 Eliza (): What do you think was the author's intention?
01/30/2006 qualcomm: eliza: reap the whirlwind, eliza.
01/30/2006 Eliza (): Do you feel intense psychological stress right now?
01/30/2006 qualcomm: eliza: reap it!
01/30/2006 Eliza (): I sense you have a very small penis.
01/30/2006 qualcomm: eliza: maybe you just have a big cunt.
01/30/2006 Eliza (): Are vaginas important to you?
01/30/2006 qualcomm: eliza: aren't they?
01/30/2006 Eliza (): You make me sick.
01/30/2006 qualcomm: eliza: harelip! harelip!
01/30/2006 Eliza (): Wouldn't you say that you're obsessing a little?
01/30/2006 qualcomm: eliza: would i? would i?
01/30/2006 Eliza (): What does that suggest to you?
01/30/2006 qualcomm: eliza: You see... your death... my trenchant blade will finish you.
01/30/2006 Eliza (): Disney. Don't get me started about Disney!
01/30/2006 qualcomm: eliza: now go shaft!
01/30/2006 Eliza (): No? Yes!.
01/30/2006 qualcomm: eliza: everything i say... is a lie!
01/30/2006 Eliza (): Are you talking to me because you're afraid of addressing your real feelings?
01/30/2006 qualcomm: eliza: compute pi to the millionth decimal place.
01/30/2006 Eliza (): Who are you again?
01/30/2006 scoop: Eliza: That was a trick question. Pi is 3! It's 3!
01/30/2006 Eliza (): Now, please clarify yourself.
01/30/2006 Klause Muppet: Would you like to dance with me?
01/30/2006 Past Master: Eliza: Masonry comes to us from times whereof the memory of man cannot give a fixed date.
01/30/2006 Eliza (): Do you think about your family often? I mean sexually.
01/30/2006 Past Master: Eliza: It has a foundation, tolerant, solid and eternal, upon which we erect our moral temple, and adorn it with the foliage and flowers of life, whose feet are swift to run on missions of love; whose knees are ever humble in the recognition of divine favors; whose heart is expanding in charity; whose hand will raise the fallen; and whose lips will bring joy and gladness.
01/30/2006 Eliza (): What's your favorite story about Disney?
01/30/2006 Load File: Is it this one?