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The Horny Professor dug a fossil out of the dusty earth. He picked it up and cleaned it with a mink brush.
Addressing the Discovery Channel’s camera, he said, “This is the adult pelvis of Urlabothrix, a Mesozoic ancestor of Velociraptor. As you can see, Urlabothrix had very narrow hips, which is why it is theorized by many paleogynecologists, myself included, that it had an extremely small cunt.”
The Horny Professor took the pencil from behind his ear and gently probed it in and out, in and out, of Urlabothrix’s fossil-twat. He winked knowingly at the television audience.
“I think it’s fair to say that the male Urlabothrix was a very happy dinosaur indeed. With access to an unlimited supply of tight reptile pussy, who wouldn’t be?”
The Horny Professor looked deep into the camera lens.
“I study ancient cunts. Petrified poonage. Vagi-saurus Sex. You can argue about whether dinosaurs evolved into birds and whether a meteor killed them off, and all that other gay ass shit on someone else’s show. I’m a dude. All I want to know is how many fingers, know what I’m saying?”
Date Written: April 10, 2003
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