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The Da Vinci Code Directed By Ron Howard And Starring Tom Hanks Based On A Book By Dan Brown cleared the corners of his mouth of mucus, adjusted his improbably monogrammed cufflinks and set off down the avenue with one thing on his mind. Rape. Pure, unadulterated rape. The kind that has no grey area around which ideologues hop from one foot to the other chanting modish tritenesses and spitting in the wind.

Standing at the edge of the park he spotted a comely gamine in a pencil skirt polishing her skin to the fine, alluring sheen of feminine power. The Da Vinci Code Directed by Ron Howard And Starring Tom Hanks Based On A Book By Dan Brown snickered. It was precisely this glow that betrayed her. Where was the mystery? The secrets for which one could spend a lifetime hacking away with blunt chisel and lantern only to find, beside one's death bed, the angel unscathed, pointing and laughing with nothing but burning contempt and derision.

The Da Vinci Code Directed By Ron Howard And Starring Tom Hanks Based On A Book By Dan Brown crept up behind her and while covering her mouth pulled her into the bushes and out of sight. Within minutes he'd found his way past his substantial gut, managed to locate his soporific penis and set about removing it from his trousers. He met her eyes and then, grabbing the back of her head, forcefully pressed his lips to hers. All of a sudden wondrous things happened! In what seemed like an instant The Da Vinci Code Directed By Ron Howard And Starring Tom Hanks Based On A Book By Dan Brown became World Trade Center Directed By Oliver Stone And Starring Nicholas Cage Based On Actual Events and the comely gamine felt a swoon come on. What seconds before could only have been considered a violent act of poon purloining became consensual sex, indeed love, out of which could only come a legion of heroes.

Date Written: May 19, 2006
Author: Dylan Danko
Average Vote: 3.9

Comments:
06/2/2006 Mr. Pony (5):
06/2/2006 scoop: My favorite part was the rape.
06/2/2006 qualcomm (2):
06/2/2006 qualcomm: BOO
06/2/2006 qualcomm: come on, people, let's see some hustle.
06/2/2006 TheBuyer: but i like it despite it's overwhelming gayness...or maybe because of it.
06/2/2006 Mr. Pony: So you didn't think this was that funny, I guess.
06/4/2006 Master Bates (4):
06/5/2006 Litcube (4):
09/24/2006 The Name Is Dalton (4.5): Looks like somebody just read Trout Fishing In America...
09/25/2006 Sudoku: Timothy, is that you??
09/25/2006 Dylan Danko: Never heard of this trout fishing thing.