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A classroom full of well-behaved students sat quietly. Outside, the sun was shining.

Meanwhile, in a different location, a succession of small movements was discernible. A seemingly intermninable amount of time had passed when, a short distance away, a dog suddenly began to bark. This was only natural, all things considered. Still...

The series of events that then followed were noteworthy primarily for the purpose of illustrating that it was not always possible for us to predict or control how people would react to particular stimuli. In light of this, Griggs wondered aloud if things would ever go back to normal. It had been a long time since...but apparently he could not bring himself to finish this thought.

Not everyone felt the same, however. Some actually preferred the new system, unorthodox as it might appear to the casual observer. Hanrahan, for one, was a perfect example of this school of thinking. True, it was not altogether clear why, or to what degree he would continue to feel this way; only time would tell. But for the time being, etc.

But here at last was a vital clue--a white residue adhering to the side of the last row of graduated cylinders! All at once several pieces of the puzzle fell into place. But something was still bothering me...or perhaps should I say someone.

Date Written: April 20, 2003
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 5

04/23/2003 qualcomm (5): i don't think this one deserves 5 stars, but to see it ranked at 3 is just intolerable. when will the senseless marginalization of matza's work end?
05/28/2003 Ewan Snow (5): This is a great one. I think it does deserve 5*s.
07/21/2003 Jon Matza: How can the average ranking here be three stars if the two voters below gave me 10 stars between them and there were three votes in all? Not that I'm concerned with my PERSONAL ranking (because I am too mature). I'm just saying.
07/21/2003 Will Disney: well, the way the site currently works is that only the first vote that someone puts in actually counts. so the votes that are displayed below may not have been the vote that were actually counted by the site. i've reviewed the database and i can assure you, without going into details about peoples' personal votes, that the average for the three votes received so far is 3.
03/10/2004 scoop (5): An exemplar of Matzaness. The Ados of Etc. The first three sentences, man, they're good. If I weren't a Christian I would covet them.
08/11/2004 qualcomm: Many miles away
Something crawls from the slime
At the bottom of a dark
Scottish lake

08/11/2004 qualcomm: everyone should come give this a 5 as a corrective to the cowardly, anonymous 2 vote.
08/11/2004 scoop: Yeah, I mean come on.
08/11/2004 scoop: "This was only natural, all things considered. Still..." This fucking thing is awesome.
08/11/2004 qualcomm: yes, i'd like to "clarify" my initial comment: this thing deserves a fin
08/11/2004 scoop: That was pretty sweet how you started that last comment with "yes."
08/11/2004 Mr. Pony: Summer, will you please just ask scoop to the prom already? This is getting irritating.
08/11/2004 scoop: I actually had to work the night of my prom. Thanks for dredging up that memory, Pony, and reminidng me of my Lee jeans-rugged, cowboy-like lonely, individualist upbringing. Keeps me in touch with my roots.
08/11/2004 TheBuyer (5): [comment deleted]
08/11/2004 scoop: What the hell...
08/11/2004 Ewan Snow: (OSS's prom date got wasted on Bacardi 151 and then smoked tons of weed in the girls room. She ran around like a banshee, totally trashed her dress, and forgot about OSS all night.)
08/11/2004 Ewan Snow: Ooops. That last comment was supposed to go on the message board, where it is (barely) relevant.
08/11/2004 qualcomm: and i hate women to this day.
08/11/2004 Ewan Snow: mulp
08/11/2004 Jimson S. Sorghum (5): Falling into line....
08/11/2004 John Slocum (5): I'm in.
08/13/2005 Eliza: goddamn this one is great. good thing i voted on how i would eventually feel about it, rather than how i felt at the time.
08/13/2005 TheBuyer: eliza: qualcomm
08/13/2005 Eliza (): I've heard of Qualcomm. He's a rapist, right?
08/14/2005 anonymous: Fucking HANRAHAN. I will not vote on this short. It shames me.