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"Oh, that's right, Susie...you've never been to Club Tre-chique!"
An audible gasp went through the room. Triumph was written all over Babs Winterson-Adams's lovely face, and the pertness of her little nose filled those witnessing the dispute with awe and fear. A hush descended, and an almost palpable sense of expectation could be felt as all eyes turned towards her rival, the luscious Susie Smith-Trollope. How would the sorority-queen-turned-corporate spokeswoman respond?
"Oh, you mean Club-DEAD? Like, where skanks and sluts like you go to get laid?"
In a flash, the two most envied women at the gala fundraiser were shrieking and rolling around on the floor in a whirlwind of furiously slashing fingernails and vicious hair-yanking. Several onlookers jumped up to separate them, but stopped, confused. For as each moment passed, it became increasingly evident that the magnificent combantants' heavy breathing was a result of something besides anger...
The name calling continued ("You little bitch"..."you whore...") but these had started to sound strangely like murmured endearments. Indeed, to the astonishment of all, Babs and Susie began to tongue each other feverishly, and by the time dessert arrived just moments later, they'd already torn each other's blouses and bras off, the better to cup and lick each others' supple, creamy white breasts. Now each had her hand jammed deep inside the other's panties, and it was possible to see fingers relentlessly working away under lacy undergarments. A feral panting and moaning filled the air as the two of them writhed away like fishes caught on hooks. These noises turned to little cries, and slowly but surely increased in volume and intensity until it was almost unbearable...
The sound of Big Ella coming in jolted Edward out of his reverie. Frantically, he got buttoned up and turned on the TV. Just in time...
"America's Funniest Home Videos!" exclaimed Ella with delight. "I love this show!" Edward wondered why, since she watched it religiously, it was necessary to say this out loud to him. Concentrating, she lowered herself into her TV chair with a grunt.
Date Written: May 01, 2003
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 4.5