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Feedbag Jefferson spent the night guzzling Dr. Pepper and stealing credit card numbers with a telescope from tenants of the high rise a couple blocks away. The lights in his apartment were off and the comic rock of Weird Al Yankovick was in heavy rotation on the Hi-Fi. Feedbag cranked the focus on the 9x50 finder scope and a curvy redhead came into view: third floor, north wing. Bingo! He’d been waiting to rip her digits for a week. He panned, trying to find her desk, her wallet, any clue that she might finally flash some number, but it turned out she wasn’t in her office, but her bedroom. Screwed again. The needle scratched as “Eat It” finished. Feedbag flipped the LP and put down his notepad. He’d only transcribed one credit card number tonight; he was slipping. He looked back into the scope and felt a certain thickness in his loins. Maybe it was worth it. Maybe it was worth it.

Date Written: May 14, 2003
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 3.85714

05/15/2003 Will Disney (4): these two most recent shorts by ewan seem to reflect some kind of mild psychosis, or at the very least, emotional retardation.
04/7/2005 John Slocum (3): RALLY, RALLY,RALLY,RALLY,RALLY,RALLY,RALLY,RALLY!!! I like this one but feel it lacked something, something nebulous, something I can't exactly put my finger on.
04/7/2005 John Slocum: ONLY TWO OF THEM.
04/7/2005 Ewan Snow: same hand or different?
04/7/2005 John Slocum: SAME
04/12/2005 John Slocum: Hey everyone, it's the Feedbag Jefferson short again. It's here again because any 2 out of you 10000 people who could drop a rating on this aren't rallying. Keep it up and we'll get to see this again next week. Nothing wrong with that, but perhaps some more people could RALLY.
04/12/2005 TheBuyer (4): duty 4.
04/12/2005 Litcube (4): Actually, this is a good one.
04/12/2005 TheBuyer: which is why it's a duty FOUR...god, stop hitting me.
04/12/2005 John Slocum: Thank you, gentlemen of Canada.
04/14/2005 John Slocum: ???!!!???
04/15/2005 John Slocum: Hey, Disney: this is getting to be a touch embarrassing. Matza! Opportunity to insult Disney.
04/15/2005 Jon Matza: Disney, how about installing this as the permanent historical short? Then we won't have to bother reading or rating other ones.
04/15/2005 John Slocum: Ouch!
04/15/2005 Will Disney: okay okay i'll fix that feature!!!
04/15/2005 John Slocum: HOORAY!!!
04/19/2005 John Slocum: Hooray?
04/19/2005 John Slocum: Disney: Nice job fixing this feature.
04/19/2005 Jon Matza: I found some subtletites I missed the 11th time I read this. Thanks Disney!
04/19/2005 John Slocum: I found some stalagtites the 24th time around.
04/21/2005 TheBuyer: Perfect, I haven't read this yet.
04/21/2005 John Slocum: HaHaHaHa, very funny, Disney.
04/26/2005 John Slocum: Goodness. I can scarcely believe how embarrassing this is.
04/26/2005 Jon Matza: Disney: you have betrayed me for the second to last time.
04/26/2005 Mr. Joshua: Hey Ewan: Do the credit card numbers have a telescope? Huh?
04/28/2005 Ewan Snow: "eating chicken with a fork"
04/28/2005 TheBuyer: I'll read it tomorrow BACK OFF ALREADY.
04/28/2005 Jon Matza (4): Yankovic misspelling nearly spoils this.
04/29/2005 Dick Vomit: Where's this gem been all my life?
04/29/2005 Klause Muppet (5): Someone has to 5 this puppy!
05/2/2005 John Slocum: I'm refusing to see this short. I'm not trying to see it.
05/2/2005 TheBuyer: There is no short. Slocum, if this short were here I would *definately* plot to displease Parliment.
05/2/2005 Will Disney: I really need to stop showing this short!
05/3/2005 TheBuyer: Hey, it's gone!
05/26/2005 The Rid: It's back!
10/2/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): Pretty good, ending weak.