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Sometimes my pussy gets so fucking wet.
It's unbelievable really. So massive are the quantities of hot cunt juice chunred by my pussy that I can't conceive where it's all coming from. It's a miracle. A hot, soaking, sopping wet miracle. Water into pussy juice.
It starts off innocently enough; a little moisture, a touch of humidity brewing in the guts of my throbbing love clam, a gentle dew of vag liquor effervesces on the folds of my pussy, but a cloud approaches. That fair weather is short lived. Damp yields to frothing and within minutes my pussy unleashes a downpour -- a torrent of jizz, a monsoon of vulva nectar. That fucker really cuts loose. It's like cats-and-dogs except replace both the cats and dogs with pussy juice.
The rich foam runs down the folds of my pussy's labia, coursing over my swollen clit. It drenches every nook and cranny of my pussy. It gets so I can't stand it.
That's usually when I feed it. That's the only way I can keep the thing tight and dry. But then I’m forced to over feed it and my pussy gets fat. That means more walks. It's really frustrating.
And another thing, all that moisture collects in the terrarium where I keep my pussy. If I go away for a little while it sits in all that juice and it gets a nasty infection. Do you know how much it costs to treat these things? And that's on top of the cash on the barrel head I dropped to get it in the first place.
The guy I bought it from insisted this was a quality pussy, top of the line. Salemen. what are you going to do?My friends warned me but I wouldn't listen. I learned the hard way. You get what you pay for. You really do. I suspect the thing is refurbished.
I've thought about fighting it in tournaments but I'm concerned. I know it's a cliché but it's true. Pussies this wet usually don't have any heart. It'd get hurt and I'd just have to put it down.
Date Written: October 02, 2007Comments:
Average Vote: 3.9
10/3/2007 Mr. Pony (4): whoa
10/3/2007 qualcomm: eh
10/3/2007 Dick Vomit: Sloppy. And I'm not being cute. It's sloppy.
10/3/2007 Litcube (3.5): A little bit sloppy, yeah. This was pretty sweet out of the gates, though. I'm voting based on old time standards. I'm sure there's another official Acme term for the Olden Times.
10/3/2007 Mr. Pony: Well, I thought it was adorable, the first read through. I'm sure if I was to over-analyze it, or look at it through the clouded, smelly eyeballs of shirveled has-beens, I might not like it either. You hear that, guys? That's you I'm talking about. You.
10/3/2007 Mr. Pony: I'm Mr. Pony. C'mere!
10/4/2007 qualcomm: the language is a spazzy, unfunny version of fancypants acme writing and the disembodied cunt twist is lame. this sort of buffoonery may play in the hinterlands of hawaii and canada, but this is capital city.
10/4/2007 scoop: The cunt twist is not lame. The cunt twist is fine, just fine.
10/4/2007 Mr. Pony: First of all, qualcomm, I don't see all Acme writing as "fancypants". I think you're being unfair to some of the great work represented on this site. Second, your unwillingness (inability?) to vote your opinion proves to me that you, sir, don't believe the very argument you are pretending to make. Why would you do this, I wonder? Finally, it will interest you to know that some time ago, the center of the universe shifted from NYC to Hawaii; right around the time I moved to the Aloha State. I acknowledge that this is probably a coincidence.
10/4/2007 Mr. Pony: qualcomm?
10/4/2007 Mr. Pony: I'm so alone.
10/4/2007 Master Bates (4): pretty funny. I think it gets better as it goes along and I also think my pit bull could take that messy slimy cat.
10/4/2007 qualcomm: i see that "island life" has destroyed your mind, mr. pony. perhaps you stepped on a stone fish, like that dude from 'blue lagoon'?
10/5/2007 Mr. Pony: There's nothing wrong with my mind, you dippy-dumb doo-doo; as Bamboo Matza and Sand Eliza will attest.
10/5/2007 Litcube: Hey, guys! Why do we have to fight all the time? With each other. Why do we have to fight all the time with each other? If we held hands instead, we could accomplish so much more and make the Acemshorts.com the best site in forever! Come on, guys! Let's go! Yes!
10/5/2007 Master Bates: Actaully the center of the universe shifted some time ago to Wichita, Kansas, the 'Paris of the Prairie'.
10/6/2007 Mr. Joshua (4.5): Buddy, I haven't done this in a while, but I'm gonnna offer up the ole "quid pro quo". Just pick any short of mine that you feel is under-appreciated, and, well, you know what to do....it's not like I have to spell it the fuck out for you now, is it?
Now, as to the merits/de-merits of the short at hand, I posit the following:
1. Excellent opening grafs (1-4).
2. You needed to make it go somewhere, and i kinda like the idea of where you tried to drag it, but perhaps the stinking, rotting corpse of an idea that is this short could not be overcome by your not inconsiderable talents. So it weighed you down, and you just kinda said, "Fuck it, I don't owe the cunts who read this shit anything. I'll mail in a hack-job that would make Carey Burke proud." And that's how you arrived at grafs 5-8.
3. 3 Stars
10/6/2007 Mr. Joshua: Oh, and just in case anybody's wondering, it's not like I have to hang out on Acme Shorts on Saturday night cuz I have no social life. Just felt like staying in tonight, that's all.
10/8/2007 Ewan Snow: Amused at first, but then not really. Didn't like the twist. Felt it was "sloppy". And Pony, aloha means goodbye. Just as "Larry" Craig Lewis.
10/10/2007 Dylan Danko (3.5): I laughed at times. A little too long.
11/2/2007 Litcube: Every time I log onto this website, I see Dylan Danko saying, "I laughed at times". That's all I see him saying whenever I log on. It's weird. Dylan Danko, please stop saying, "I laughed at times". The first few times you said that, and even an akward amount of time thereafter, I summoned the energy to nod sportingly. I don't know if I can do it anymore, nod sportingly.
11/8/2007 Dylan Danko: Do you prefer "amused at first but then not really?"
Also, who are you?
11/8/2007 Dylan Danko: Sorry, Litcube. I remember you now.
11/9/2007 Litcube: It is ok.
10/9/2010 Marvin_Bernstein: immature