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Feldspar sat at his own Bar-mitzvah, crushing his fingers into each other, a bright smile stitched across his face. It was the biggest day of his life, yet somehow he felt depleted.

"My best friend Feldspar became a man today", Josh Jiblatski said into the microphone, his blue eyes shimmering in the spotlight. And then continuing with unerring timing: "I'm glad the operation was a success."

Feldspar continued to smile. Thatís the oldest joke since the bible, he thought. Why the fuck is everybody in here fucking lapping up that shit?

There would be time, perhaps after several more good natured jokes between he and Josh, outside on the golf course. He had stashed a cheap bottle of cognac under a hedge, with which he planned to brain this fraud. He never had the faintest fucking clue about the meaning of humor. Best friend. Right.

Then the emptiness, the hunger, would be gone. He had to think fast.

Date Written: June 07, 2003
Author: Benny Maniacs
Average Vote: 3.5

06/7/2003 anonymous (1):
06/16/2004 John Slocum (5): Always enjoyed this one.
06/16/2004 Mr. Joshua (4): This is fine work. 4.5
06/16/2004 TheBuyer (4): bash that mofo, bash him good
06/16/2004 qualcomm: it's good, but one question nags: what's Feldspar?
06/16/2004 Benny Maniacs: It's an old fashion polish for chrome bumpers.
06/16/2004 TheBuyer: i thought French Manicure polish...sorry, Freedom Manicure polish, my bad.