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Dan hit Jack in the gut. Pow! It hurt real bad. Jack felt his face get red. Damn, he was mad. “I’ll make you rue the day you did that, Jack--I mean Pal,” said Jack. “Yeah? You and what army?” said Dan. Jack held up his fist. “This army,” he said.

But it was only a ruse; when Jack ran at Dan, it was not his fist he used, but his foot. Wham! Jack gave it to him hard in the nuts. Down went Dan. Dan held his sac. Man, did it ache. His face was pale. The pain went all the way down his legs. “Fuck, that smar-”

But Dan was not able to end this line, for he knew that it was not fair to say out loud (or type) any word more than four keys long. Why? It beat him. In fact, the idea was gay as hell. But it was not for him to say so. (In fact, Dan had been told not to give the idea away. But he did, in his mind; that is why I had Jack kick him in the nads). Thus, all Dan was able to do was say “Fuck you!” “No, fuck you, you fuck!” said Jack. "Eat me!" said Dan. Etc.

Date Written: June 09, 2003
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 4.875

06/17/2003 Will Disney (5): i like it. particularly short.
07/8/2003 scoop (5): That
08/18/2003 qualcomm (4): a searing indictment of the very idea of a short-short.
08/26/2003 Ewan Snow (5): I never read this one. I laughed out loud before I realized the gimmick. Decent gimmick, though…
06/28/2004 TheBuyer (5):
06/28/2004 John Slocum (5): I held my sac lest it fall off from so much fun. This one has a lot of disc-
03/2/2005 qualcomm: i owe you a star, guy. though on the 10-point system, this might be a nine.
03/2/2005 Litcube (5):
03/3/2005 John Slocum: 'Wham! Jack gave it to him hard in the nuts.' Big laughs here, now.
01/22/2011 Mr. Pony (5): How have I never rated this piece of history?