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“Let h represent all your hopes and dreams. Let a represent your life’s accomplishments so far,” began Wellington Hambone, with a sense of satisfaction in his understanding of the world derived from a single undergrad course in Personametrics.

Linzie stopped crying for a moment, pulled her butt-plug out and listened real good.

“Let d represent the delta between h, and a, ie. d equals h minus a,” continued Wellington, his smug posture carefully calibrated. “Now as d (measured in teardrops) approaches infinity, as in your case, one finds that r, representing resistance to unwanted advances, approaches zero.”

“Ugghhmph!” Linzie grunted as Wellington’s Hambone sank in.

Date Written: June 22, 2003
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 0

12/19/2003 Ewan Snow: This is wonderful, wonderful!