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I've been experimenting with auto-surgery ever since med school. But my greatest project has only now, these many decades later, reached its conclusion. To remove ones own heart is every man's dream. But to do so and live, live to enjoy the satisfaction of it beating before one's very eyes, has until now been out of reach. But look! It's done! That thump muscle, that throb meat! I won't let it squeeze out another beat in darkness. I never trusted the way it lurked in there, in secret, autonomic, involuntary... But all that's changed now. By severing my lower leg, and grafting my tibia to my sternum so it stretches out before me, and then growing a lattice of connective tissue capable of supporting my heart and all of its blood vessels at the end of it, propped up on my instep right before my eyes, I am now ready for the final step. I will connect the motor nerve from my severed leg to my heart and remove this temporary pacemaker; and then I will have achieved my dream, Rebecca, the dream you have driven me to. I will at last be able to beat my heart consciously. From now on, Rebecca, I will be free of you. And I'll watch. I'll watch it under the bright sun, Rebecca. From now on, every beat will be strictly voluntary.

Date Written: March 26, 2009
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 4.16667

03/27/2009 Will Disney: good idea
03/27/2009 scoop (4): It looks like Mr. Pony finally got around to writing a nonfiction short!
03/27/2009 qualcomm: you do realize that "heart" is only the metaphoric seat of emotions, don't you? i recommend you sew your cock-and-balls inside the cavity left behind by your heart. only then will you be safe from rebecca's own brand of throb-meat.
03/27/2009 anonymous: Did not know that. Will do and thanks for the tip.
03/27/2009 Mr. Pony (4.5): I was sobbing at the end.
03/27/2009 anonymous: Who are you kidding Pony? We all know you wrote this one. Scoop even said so, and he would know. Signed, -The Finch
03/27/2009 Mr. Pony: Well, I don't know about that, but I do think that people should give this short the high votes it deserves.
03/31/2009 Mr. Pony: Damn you, Snow!!
03/31/2009 Litcube (4):
04/7/2009 The Finch: Mr. Pony did not write this short.

The Finch
04/7/2009 Ewan Snow: Pony, give it a rest with the Finch shtick, okay? You're on thin ice as it is.
04/8/2009 Mr. Pony: Hey, guys! What's going on?
07/11/2009 Jon Matza: Here Finchy Finchy, here Finchy Finchy Finchy...