home authors guest shorts graphical shorts


“Are you almost done?”

“You’re asking me? Back off, Ritchie, okay? This is a non-trivial handjob I’m giving you. You try hanking hose while keeping a reach-around fresh and lively!”

“It’s just a little hackneyed is all.”

“Coming from Mister lick, lick, twirl: please!. I’m so turned on I nearly drop the remote.”

“Jesus Christ, shut up! You never shut up.”

That pissed her off so she sank her thumb in, but instead of quickly reversing her syncopation like usual to blow me over the edge, she eased off into a slow cantor and let my balls boil blue. “Don’t you ever tell me to shut up, Ritchie.”

And that was the last time I saw your mother.

Date Written: July 01, 2003
Author: Ewan Snow
Average Vote: 4.5

07/1/2003 anonymous (5):
07/3/2003 scoop (5): Mother doesn't approve of lick, lick twirl? Fuck!
03/8/2005 John Slocum (5): Hey, let's rally here also.
03/8/2005 qualcomm (4): good thing ritchie is spelled that way. i'm'a four this -- i like the ending gag of course, but the "body" (other than "balls boil blue," one of the few good alliterations i've ever seen) was flattish. the dialogue, i guess i mean.
05/24/2005 Jawbreaker (4):