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Listen up, bitches: this muthafukkas hunnry. I’mma get me some SOUPS. Ain’t talkin bout no muthafukkin consommAY muthafukka, feel me? This nigga gonna have hissel some muthafukkin mineSTRONEY, muthafukka, stick to my muthafukkin reeb. I gots t’have it, G: my potato, my navy bean, my tomato, my onion and my muthafukkin macaronis. Best not be brinnin me no muthafukkin lukewarm mothafukkin soups neither muthafukka! Sheee. This negro’s minestrone gotta be steamin hot, nome sane? Don’t be brinnin me no cup, muthafukka, and you best not brinn me no bowl. My Pogresso be comin in a TUREEN, bitches. That some Pottery Barn shit, nigguh. Muthafukka come to my tayboo piping. Whoa they muffuh!! Sprinkoo summa dat shit on there. You think I’m playin muh’fukka? I ain’t playin! Nigguh why you gotta be so innorant?? I’mma go straight upside yo heed you tryta walk away ‘fore you sprinkoo two muthafukkin spoonfoos o’ muthafu’n parmesans on my muthafukkin soups! Was you born yessaday muthafukka? Ain’t no muthafukkin minestroneys without no muthafukkin garnish. Muthafukka you STILL standin they? THE FUCK OUTTA MY FACE NIGGUH!! That’s right run muthafukka! Muthafukka tryna be lookin all on me with them beady muthafukkin eyeboos while I be eatin my muthafukkin soups. I’LL CUT YOU MUTHAFUKKA!

Date Written: April 28, 2010
Author: Jon Matza
Average Vote: 4

04/29/2010 qualcomm: horace?
05/3/2010 mr.coffee (4): very nice. captures the culture so eloquently.
05/3/2010 Litcube: I was to rate this short a 4 stars rating. I was to do this prior to the revealing of the author.
05/3/2010 Mr. Pony: Soup tureens are very helpful in keeping soup hot at table.
05/3/2010 Mr. Pony: Soup tureens are very helpful in keeping soup hot at table.
05/3/2010 Mr. Pony (3): I SAID, etc.
05/3/2010 Mr. Pony: What the shit? I didn't mean to vote, there. It's nice, being reminded of all of Acme's little posting quirks in such a short time.
05/3/2010 qualcomm: Signed,
The Finch
05/3/2010 qualcomm: hey, you jerk, you fucked up my joke. just say what you have to say and shut up next time.
05/3/2010 Mr. Pony: I don't get it. Are you the Finch?
05/3/2010 Mr. Pony: Ahahahahahhahah
05/3/2010 Marvin_Bernstein (4): 2nd paragraph: lol funny. I was confused, then appalled, then homogeneous while reading this. Then I felt sexy again.
05/4/2010 TheBuyer: Sprinkoo
05/4/2010 Marvin_Bernstein: faaaak
05/7/2010 Dylan Danko (4.5):
05/14/2010 scoop (4.5): Niggas gonna remain vigilant at his crib and wait for his soups to be delivered from da corner sto, ya heard, son.
06/2/2010 Marvin_Bernstein: I just relized I can create shorts like this with the ctrl c ctrl v function on my keybd